posting results just came out and i made it to MJC.. my formal CT was kind enough to bring his laptop and cable so we're able to check the posting results from the class during civics period.. elation filled my body as i jumped for joy.. 5others in my class made it there too, but there is a huge possibility that i will not be in the same class as them as i intend to take phy instead of bio.. i'm taking a really huge risk doing this and i hope it pays off..
my last day in TPJC was taken up by well.. skipping almost all tutorials and lectures with some tutorials by OUR request were canceled.. played basketball with the dragonboaters for nearly 2hours till the teacher chased us away as he needed the court for PE.. sigh.. lol.. happinness soon turned into sorrow and saddness..
she told me she wasn't able to make it to MJC though she met the cut off point of 10.. her friends who applied too were accepted. what bewilders and angers me is that they got nearly identical grades as her only that their languague was better.. she went off to MJC to appeal without me.. i wanted to accompany her but.. i didn't know what to do really.. i was in a mess.. a daze.. no matter what i said could do nothing to make her feel better.. she told me she cried.. didn feel like talking.. all i could do was stand there as i listened to her pour her sorrows on me.. my mind wasn't where its suppose to be after that.. even during the CG outing at seoul garden i spaced out at times.. thinkin abt wad happened to her.. i never felt so powerless before.. so weak.. so helpless..
even when i met up with the ex-tpjcians to go MJC together.. i tried as much as i could not to think abt it and should be happy that i made it.. she wanted me to be happy in MJC.. happy that i made it.. happy that it was my first choice.. happy cuz she justs wants me to. how could i really, i placed MJC cuz of her.. now that she isn't there, i felt a sense of lost. this was quickly replaced though with multiple other reasons which contributed to why i wanted to go MJC.. it helps but only to a certain extent.. even during the admin prog today at MJC, areas which had been briefed to me during PAE i spaced out time and time again.. blaming myself for not helping her more in her studies.. for not helping her get her A1 for humanities though she thanked me immensely for helping her attain an A2. that one point would have allowed her to enter MJC with 9 after bonus.. i feel so guilty.
i dun tink she is happy in TPJC now.. going through the orientation there once again.. she's probably still upset and disappointed that she didn't make it to MJC.. i pray that her appeal makes it.. she deserves a slot in MJC possibly more than me.. what can i do to help her feel better.. i really don't know.. but i will try my best to make her feel better.. even if it only helps a tiny bit.. it soothes me to know she feels better in any way..
if u are reading this.. cheer up k? i will always be there for u.. u just have to call..

(2:25 PM)