Dreamland...Thats where i am these days...
where i found peace and happiness.
Its the place where i found comfort and love.
Where i found what i was looking for.
I miss...
the warmth of being in the arms...
the strong sense of security...
the love and knowing there would always be someone who will be there for me.
To wipe my tears.
To hold me tight when everything went awfully wrong.
To whisper in my ears that everything wentawfully wrong.
To whisper in my ears that everything would be alright.
To simply be there.But can i remain there?
In the warmth and comfort i found ?
Can i stay there ?
NO...
i cant...for dreamland is nothing but a place of memories..
in my heart.
In my heart, it shall stay...
forever it shall...her and the memories we had...
shall remain in my heart.

But , can i let it remain there silently?
Or would it resurface time and time again...
The past...
The memories haunting me...
Bringing me back into Dreamland...
the place of memoriesYes...
it bought happiness, peace, comfort and warmth...
However, once back in reality...
it left a mess in my heart...
The feeling of longing...
The feeling that something was once again missing...
I found what was missing.
It has always been my heart.
I left it with you for safekeeping,
or simply because i know thats where it belongs..
But now you are gone, unknowingly it.

The present is where i am and where i shall stay.
Here and there is what i am feeling...
Here in the present.
There in the past.
Lost.
Confused.
Searching for the light at the end of the darkest tunnel.

Will you be there,
like you were in the past,
to catch me when i fall?
Will you be there to hold my hand and guide me when i lose my way?
Will you be there to always hold me tightly in your arms?
Will you be there to simply be you, the one i gave my heart to?
Will you...

Memories...please stay in my heart quietly. For thats where you belong. In my heart.

(5:08 PM)

i know its pretty late but i was dead beat yesterday so didn update..

anywayx.. yesterday concluded the last day of A*IMCB biopolis attachment.. the 3 days there have been very well.. how do i put it interesting?? hahaz..
anyway.. the food court there was really GOOD!! and i mean it.. super condusive.. food is super delicious.. and they sell PASTA!! now thats so rocking!!




of cuz.. there those times when Joshua Kwok needed a lil help from us..lol



and the food we ate on the last day..


the experiments well.. its really kinda basic.. i mean.. i did all these durin life science when i was in sec 2 so lets not dwell into it.. lol..
anyways.. on the last day.. we dmn ppl when on a phototaking frenzy.. and i mean it.. taking with almost nearly everything that we thought was a nice shot.. hahaz










and of cuz there were those super gay shots..



LOL..

the architecture of the whole Biopolis area was seriously well done.. very modern.. glass frames on all the buildings.. making everyone a reflection of the beautiful blue sky..
the connectors are.. im not really sure why they built them but they must have their reasons.. but they are really nice!!




nice right??
and of cuz.. like any other courses i attended.. all of us went ard collecting ppl's contacts so that we may stay in touch.. and once again.. another phototaking frenzy.. hahaz.. dun ask y.. lol..



dmn ppl with the lab assistants..


dmn ppl in our "cool" looking lab coats..



Me and Adeline



Me Jezer[bottomt] and Kwee Han[right]



Bench 5 ROX!!

and of cuz.. wads the point of going to such a prestigious attachment without taking a phot with the Company's name in the reception/lobby..




either ways.. the whole thing was nice.. and fun.. i mean come on.. i skipped 3 days of school to be here.. how can it not be fun.. even if it was boring.. i skipped 3 days of lessons!! lol..
putting that aside.. the whole attachment was worth the time.. and i seriously reccomend those interested to sign up for it if given the chance..



Participants of the Cell Cycle Control and Tumorigenesis programme... ROCK ON!!

(3:49 PM)

A* Insitute Of Molecular Cell Biology..[IMCB]
Located at the Pretoes Building at BioPolis..

Skipped sch juz to attend this attachment Programme.. or rather the Outreach Prog.. skipping sch for these 3 days.. only returning to sch on wed.. its almost like the term 1 week hols.. lol
went there.. listened to a Boring Safety Briefing.. gosh.. nearly fell asleep.. and if u thought thats bad.. Dr Dimitry Bulavain.. talked to us abt wad we were going to do durin our 3 days.. and i tell you.. i dun understand a crap hes saying.. i mean.. first he speaks to fast.. his accent is very hard to catch.. and the best part was... after his briefing.. he asked whether we dont understand anything he said at all.. LOL.. total crap i tell you..
o yea.. went there together with 3 of my other school mates.. my pal Yu Heng.. Kwok and Maria.. hahaz.. how can i forget to intro them.. i mean we are the only 4 going for this thing.. at least for this week.. lol..

went to the lab.. and we were told to put on this cool lab coat.. i mean.. WOW.. i always wanted to wear one of those lah.. its like..lol.. u get wad i mean..and the gloves.. so fun to play with.. lol.. frankly im bored over there.. i mean.. i went into the prog with the thinking tat we were going to do some research.. BUT.. we ended up doing sec 2 life science work.. wad the diff?? this time is taught by professionals.. using more high tech equip.. and ironically.. BORING!! the only fun part of the day?? LUNCH!! went down to Holland V to eat.. and we were spoilt for choice.. literally!! i mean going to the food court to eat.. we have to choose one out of 2.. den in the one we chose.. the food there are all so mouth watering.. i mean.. when u enter the food court the smell just hits you.. u start to salivate.. and your stomach grumble.. i mean.. wow.. Holland V is the best place to MAKAN!! hahaz..

after lunch.. went on with the same old experiment.. and wasted yet another 3 hours of my life in the lab.. lol.. total crap.. den went over to bedok with Yu Heng to buy New Years Clothes.. the price there is so NICE! Designs.. EVEN BETTER.. WOW!!.. cant believe it.. the shirts look so much nicer then the billabong one i wanted to buy.. lol.. and its way cheaper.. literally.. although the billabong shirt is nice..[due to the brand name...DUH].. this is really an exception.. u want to see wad i bought... visit me on the first day of CNY..lol..

well.. i now look forward for tml... as i intend to suan all my classmates who will be in sch while i am at tampines interchange mac eating breakfast.. lol.. man now thats going to be fun.. and hopefully.. the experiment im going to do tml.. is gonna be much more interesting.. lol.. yea.. if not im gonna sleep man..LITERALLY!! then again.. being able to wear jeans and sch shirt should make up for that.. hahaz..

(10:11 PM)

A Testimonial

Adam Khoo.. the 3 days intensive cse has finally come to an end..
we will all surely miss the trainers.. Amin's cute pic of himself.. Danny's horendous drawings.. Gary's jokes.. Wayne's down to earth attitude..
i know that many of you guys didn went up the last time.. but well i did.. and i will like to share the testimonial with you guys..



hey guys.. i'm kenneth Yau frm 4D.. and i suppose most of you.. or at least a grp think i come from a well to do family.. a family with a car.. private housing.. maid and sorts right.. [replies of agreement].. yes.. i admit that.. i admit that what i just said was the truth.. i do come from a well to do family.. a family who well provides me with nearly everything a child can ask for...
but never did i cherish that love and concern my parents showed me.. i took them all for granted.. serious... they work from day to night.. sometimes even till the wee hours of morning juz to earn those blood sweat cash.. to feed the family.. to provide for me and my bro.. to support us.. NEVER did i once appreciated that LOVE.. NEVER.. not once.. the only time i said I LOVE YOU to my parents was when what? a mere 9 or 10 year old?? now that was a long time ago..
the shirts they bought for me with those money they earned.. i juz took them.. and threw them at a dark corner of my wardrobe.. never to wear it.. not even once.. it juz stayed there and collected dust for a couple of years... and as a matter of fact.. i juz gave those unwanted clothing of mine away to my cousins who are worse off then us... a week ago.. a mere 7 days ago..[shocked faces in the crowd] yes i did just that..

to add on.. my parents took me overseas for vaccation.. to china HK last yr... and australia several times since i was 10.. went to perth.. gold coast and New South Wales.. yes.. my family did go to these places.. BUT.. i never did once spare a thought for all the trouble my parents had to go through just to put this trip together.. just to make this trip a success.. never did i once consider that sweat they perspired while planning these wonderous trips... all i did there was to enjoy life.. not giving a HECK abt the details.. and my BRO!! ok.. i know i should not be talking about him.. but what the heck.. i mean.. when we take photos together.. i can pose with him with a bright smile.. while he gives the sibei sian smile.. i mean WTF!! we rarely go on these trips and he does this?? sigh.. and my mum.. she's kind enough to stand there and take the pictures for us.. i can show u all the albums of our trips.. and out of the thousands of pictures.. u can only find 1 or 2 pictures with my mother inside of it with my dad.. and maybe 4 together as a family.. all of which my bro had that sibei sian smile on him... and what did i do? just brush it off my shoulders and not care abt it..

my parents nag at me almost every single day.. i admit it.. and i do not even care abt it.. i slacked and my studies dropped.. i lied to my parents that i studied when i didnt.. results came.. promises were broken.. and all my parents did was to say that i should try harder the following year.. i was shocked to hear that.. i was expecting them to blare at me.. or even ground me for a few weeks.. but they merely encouraged me.. and once again.. i just felt a sign of relief and carried on with my old lifestyle..

i do not believe what i did then.. if i had the choice.. i would jump off a building right now.. i do not deserve their love.. i took them all for granted.. i took all e trips that came as a part of my lifestyle.. oblivious to the back stage scenes.. i dumped those clothes at a side.. all because i did not want to wear it out to public and have my friends laugh at me..

i just have this to say to you guys.. the next time your parents bring you shopping or buys u something.. a shirt for example.. wear it.. put it on.. do not care about what your friends think.. if they laugh at you.. tell them straight in the face that you wear the love care and concern my parents shower on me.. and be proud of it...

[silence for a while]{tears in my eyes} i really do not know what else to say.. but to ask mum and dad to just stand up so that i can show off the 2 of you to everyone in this hall what great parents i have..

thanks...[wipes off tears]

(11:23 PM)

Adam Khoo course.. i've longed heard praises of it from my friends in 4 A B C.. and now i know y they sing praises of it... its totally good!! firstly.. it aint like any other "motivation talks" our teachers give.. or like any of those we had in mass assemblies.. the trainers brought the message to us in a comedic way which works perfectly for our generation..
to start the day.. trainer Gary..aka[home grown Russell Peters].. really!! he totally acts like him man.. his jokes.. u can tell its a style taken from russell peters.. literally!! but i must admit.. he really was better!! way better!! other trainers soon took over his place aft lunch.. namely Amina aka Minah, Aminah.. Wayne and Danny.. the programme today totally rocks rocks rocks!! i mean.. i never felt so motivated in my life before!! i am actually looking forward to studying!![believe me.. this aint exactly normal] for those who knew me since young would know.. hahaz.. speed reading.. power memory.. wow.. i muz say that those methods will do me much good.. but on the power memory part?? erm.. maybe i'll stick to mine.. i dun really.. picture other images to help me remember.. i do it the auditory method.. hahaz.. yea.. that means reciting to myself over and over again walking up and down my bedroom.. lol..
as the day came to a close.. we were shown a clip of Rocky 3.. the message was put across to me almost immediately.. except for some fags who are more interested in laughing at other peoples physical handicap..[referring to slywester stylone here] i mean.. his speech was slurred since young due to the medical students fault.. cuz for some reason when they delievered him.. they dropped him on the floor on the head.. [WTF].. yea.. totally siao right.. hahaz.. wad to do.. thats life[yea right]..

ending the day.. he asked us this question.. what are we gonna do with our lives..
hmm. now this is really a tough qns for me.. cuz i haven really decided.. but.. more or less a path is slowly forming.. either i enter JC den take up a course in business in NUS[hopefully].. if not.. it'll be going to JC to take appiled science[bio-chem,bio-med] or Law and Management or Business in TP most likely... of cuz.. if all that fails..[touch wood..] theres always the SPDF and RSAF for me.. =P..but thats at the back of my mind right now.. business seemes to be calling my name.. and i will answer that call..
its only a matter of time.. soon enough.. time will reveal everything..

PAST does not = FUTURE
but
With E Past Ropes Ring E Future Bells...[2b'o4 rawks]

(10:48 PM)

Echoes of Our Hearts


Sometimes we close our eyes and just listen to the echoes of our hearts. We all fall in love and there are times when we love so much that we lose ourselves in our emotions. More often than not, we wonder why there are love that grows, and love that grows cold. We would start to search for answers and try to find where love has gone wrong. But in the end, we find ourselves where we started for we cannot question love when it has its own reasons. Love will always be as it always has been....silent, mysterious and deeply profound.

Many of us believe that love is forever, that love never dies, only to be disillusioned in the end when we find our hands empty and our hearts longing. We mistakenly have looked at love as a need to be fulfilled. But love is a gift given to us. We should not hold it in our hands for we may never find the strength to let it go when it decides to leave. We should only embrace its warmth and glow while it last and then freely open our arms when its time to say good-bye.
When we fall in love, we don't want that feeling to end for it is everything we are, everything we wanted to be. We pray that love will stay and grow in our hearts. But if it doesn't then we should never let our lives be taken by it, for life should not end where heartaches begin.

There is always a reason why we have to move on. When we have to say good-bye to the feeling we wanted to stay forever, let us not wave our hands with a heavy heart. For love will have to set its wings free and find the place where it belongs. We may have lost it but then again, when we close our eyes and listen to the echoes of our hearts, we will hear that feeling resounding silently forever.Then we'll know that love never left us, for the good that we have become because of love will always stay. Love will always be there, reminding us that we should be thankful and happy not because we have lost love, but because, for once in our lives, that feeling called love lived in our hearts and made us happy.


just smth i thought abt these days.. possibly one of e reasons why i have not been blogging.. hahax.. so yea.. my thoughts.. true aint it??

(8:13 PM)

frankly speaking.. it has really been packed these few days..
activities after activities.. tests after tests.. CCA.. my gosh.. u wont believe my schedule.. really..
well we had our bio re-exam last week.. and gosh.. i seriously slacked on studying for it.. well mainly because i wasnt suppose to take the exam initially.. but mr lim decided for the whole level to sit for it anyways.. i find myself to lack in motivation to push me forward to study for the exam.. somehow.. something in me tells me that i dun have to.. haiz.. either ways.. i live on to regret it.. im so gonna get a C for the exam.. if im lucky.. a B.. but i dun think so...
A math test on binomial and P&C... sigh.. i didn attend any lessons at all for these topics which are thought durin the holidays and ended up self studying and not seeking for teachers help.. sigh.. regretted again.. at least my binomial pulled me up as i sought help from cher at the 11th hour.. lol.. man that really sux.. got a B4.. 15 out of 25.. man.. that really sux for the first math test for the year.. argh.. can it get any worse.. unfortunately for me.. it can..
we had training for the sec3 or flight 03s today.. and ENYI !!! OMG!! x0bile!! ur drills!! WTF!!! u sure u r a 03!! or fit to be one in that mannar.. i mean come on.. u r the future admin spec of dmn air unit!! a GOLD UNIT!! and ur drills are.. gosh... spec cse looms juz months away and u give me this kind of shit standard!! SEC 3!!! AND U DUN EVEN KNOW HOW TO MARCH PROPERLY!! ANTICIPATES COMMAND!! SLOPPY REACTIONS!!! u completely stand out form your commrades u know that?? if u r reading this blog.. then GET TO WORK!! sigh... really. go do some soul searching.. if u really wanna become a SSC.. or even pass ur spec cse... if not.. forget the spec badge.. kiss ur 2SG rank gdbye..

did i go too far.. haiz...

even with my heart boiling.. i have to endure yet another batch of IDIOTS!!
GAB BEH SOH, WEI MING.. su-lin.. a few others u know who ppl are.. if u contd to eat in class.. i seriously suggest u stop it this instance.. or u will live to regret it in the near future... u have been warned.. if u read this entry.. good for you.. but if u choose to ignore the waring.. well.. good luck.. esp u gab soh.. im so gonna have a talk with you...

(8:01 PM)

well.. for the record.. i haven really been updating my blog.. i suppose u all knew that already anyways.. lol..

so to repay that.. i got a poem for you all..

"Friends forever," you promised"
together till the end.
I'll always be there for you
To be your best friend."

[you know what i mean]

You hold me up in your arms
Whenever i feel weak
You always help me find
Whatever I seek

When I was sad,
You wiped away my tears
You lent me your shoulders
And chased away my fears

But somewhere along the way,
We slowly came apartI was here,
You were there,
You left and took my heart

I felt lonely, saddened,
like a song without a tune
Or like a pianist without his piano,
A sun without her moon.

Three years later,
you came back
You brought joy to my heart,
I've never felt before
With your encouraging smile
I love you more and more
Now that you've returned,
hold me day by day
Because with your Loving hand in mine,
Somehow, somedayI know
we'll find the way...

(10:11 PM)

January.. a great way to start off the year.. esp in CHC [ city harvest church ]
we had Dr Joyce Meyer to speak to us the previous week.. and now Pastor Kong gave us an extremely powerful sermon so start our engine for the new year of 2oo6...

Deja Vu... Glimpses of Eternity...

in this world that we live in.. Time is Money thats wad we always say.. well it is true..
if we buy a 5 room hdb flat and pay off the mortage in 30 years.. we pay abt 300k+the price u bought the flat for.. but if u do it in half the time [15yr] u pay only 120k++

in singapore.. her GDP per capita is $48,345
which means that each singaporean is worth abt $3,291 a month... really.. so for those who are not earning that amount a month.. well.. means u r worth less then average here in sg.. DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED!!! it has been said in the bible that if u believe in him.. u may be poor but u will not for long... the LORD has shown this to us through many of his diciples.. a women durin a famine had only a little oil left and instead of keeping it to herself.. she gave it to GOD.. and she was rewarded with wealth..
Prov 10:15...
the wealth of the rich is their fortified city, but poverty is the ruin of the poor...
Prov 13:23
a poor man's field may produce abundant food, but injustice sweeps them away..

the lord has made us men to be productive...
Gen 1:26,28
God said: " let US make man in our image, according to our likeness"... and God said to them[adam eve], " be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion"

and of cuz the reason why some of us are not productive... still in poverty.. or poor in this manner... it has to do with your thinking.. your mindset..

Rom 12:2
and do not be conformed to this world. but be transformed by th renewing of the mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of GOD.

and so exactly wad does this have to do with eternity and DEJA VU?? well.. ur about to find out..

we the children are more than human.. we are a spiritual being mastering the human exp.. we live in a span known as TIME. where eternity stops in order for us to accomplish what the lord has asked us to do.. when we have done all that.. time ends.. and u go back to the relm of eternity..
John 8 speaks of what claims of himself.. he says that those who believe in him will attain everalsting life and will not see death.. and why is that so when many pastors, prophets have perished.. they have gone on into the relm of eternity.. for they have accomplished what they were supposed to do.. and is now with the Father up in Heaven..

even before our parents met each other.. we were on GOD's mind.. as his imagination, plans, concept, purpose and his plans.
our birth cert can only tell us so little of ourselves.. some may say it is the proof of your existance.. i say no.. it can only tell you your name, birthdate, etc.. it does not tell you your purpose.. the plans GOD has laid out for you..it does not tell you why u exist..

Jer 1:5
"Before i formed you in the womb i knew you, before you were born i set you apart: i appointed you as the prophet of the nations.." this is the calling of Jeremiah.

now DEJA VU.. wad it means is already seen... in visions.. dreams.. sometimes u find yourself in a place which u know u have been there before.. the exact time span... the same words u hear from a conversation.. why is this so??
Deja Vu happens when the holy spirit carrys you through time into eternity for you to see god's plan and purpose.. so u may carry out his task for you when u reach that moment in the future...
Visions are simply a glimpse of God's mind which he wants us to see... what he wants us to do..

Rev 13:8
all who dwell on earth will worship him, whose names have not been written in the book of life of the Lamb slain form the foundation of the world.

Eph 1:4
Just as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world that we should be holy and without blame before him in love..

2Tim 1:9
who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace which has given to us in Christ Jesus Before Time Began.

Ps 139:16[NKJV]
your eyes swa my substance, being yet uniformed. and in your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them..

Ps 139:16[TLB]
you saw me before i was born and scheduled each day of my life before i began to breathe. every day was recorded in your book!

2Cor 4:18
while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. for the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Eph 2:10
For we are God's[own] handiwork [ his workmanship]. recreated in Christ Jesus, [ born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined[planned beforehand] for us, [taking paths which he prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them- LIVING THE GOOD LIFE which he prearranged and made ready for us to live...

its nothing short of wonderful that he has laid out the path/road for us to take before we were born, before we were conceived in our mothers womb, like a treasure hunt for a leather belt whom God will be our guide... the one to shout hot, cold, warm, hot..hot..Hot...hOt.. HoT.. HOT!!! until we find that buried treasure that he has placed for us to find.. and use it to whack the devil who has been trying to bring you down all the time..

to end it all.. i have a new definition of success to share..
Success is the progressive revelation and realization of this pre-determined GOOD LIFE.

Prov 25:2
it is the glory of GOD to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings is to search out a matter.

Amen...

(10:12 PM)

Lou's subject combi in sec sch-
english , emaths ,Amaths, physics, chemistry, biology, pure history, literature/ss, Higher chinese, chinese language and malay elective.
Posted to : Hwa chong JC, 2 points( after bonus) for prelims.


Mag's subject combi in sec sch-
english , emaths ,Amaths, physics, chemistry, biology, Full Geog, History/ss, Higher chinese, chinese language.
Posted to : Anglo chinese Jc, 3 points( after bonus) for prelims.


Juliana's Sub combi in sec sch-
english , emaths ,Amaths, physics, chemistry, biology, Full Lit, History/ss, Higher chinese and chinese language.
Posted to : Anglo-chinese JC


Winni's combi in sec sch-
english , emaths ,Amaths, physics, chemistry, Pure geog, History/ss, Higher chinese, chinese language .
Posted to : National JC , 5 points( after bonus) for prelims.




Jen-ACS ib.
Petrina-RJC.
Yanning-TJC.
George-Vjc.




isnt all this woah!?!




It takes a minute to find a special someone
an hour to appreciate him
a day to love him
&
an entire life to forget him

It takes a second to drop a tear
a minute to wipe it off
an hour to stop crying
but a lifetime to heal the wound


You are the one,
You are the one
who can make moments last forever
The one that makes the sun shine
where ever you go
why make it harder,
than it has to be
just listen,
I'll give you love
if you'll give me your heart

(10:05 PM)

=+=+=+=L[o]v(e)=+=+=+=
[i love you] means i really care about you....One say it out but not to expect any returns or anything but just to express his/her thoughts...
[i love you] means that it is because there are pure and sincere thoughts...in the hope that this 3 magical words can bring you happiness and futurity and because of having such thoughts and faith people will give their heart to a person,they knew they will love forever...
[ i love you ] needs better emphasis especially to your love ones.Who ever has been in your heart and has make a difference in your life ,do tell them how much you love them.Because you might regret not telling them but always do take note of the situation.
Never express when you know that it is not appropriate and if you think that things is not going to work your way.
BUT at least you say it ...so there is nothing to lose! Surprised them with this words... You must know that this words may just be three words but it carries a lot of meaning!

(3:38 PM)

Managed to wake up on time today YEA!! lol.. but it came at a terrible price... i had this extreme pain in my left kneecap last night at ard midnight.. ended up tossing and turning in bed, enduring the excruciating pain.. finally gave up trying not to think abt it and applied Fastum[some lotion for muscle pains] on it... sch.. boring as usual.. wad else is there to add abt it anyway..lol..

can u believe it? the poem i wrote for my cous last year for teachers day was printed on their year book!! wad the crap!! i dun believe it! i mean they reading out the poem on teachers day is fine i mean the teacher did ask my cous to write one right.. lol.. but in the year book!! gosh..
anyways.. heres the poem..


You Are The One..

I was there in that corner… crying
You came along and lent your helping hand
I grabbed it.
I could feel the warmth
I could feel the sense of security
I could feel the sense of assurance
I knew you were the one.

You are the foundation of our life
You are diligent in helping us
You persevere in changing us
You are determined to help let us achieve

You are the artist who paints our dreams
You are the sculptor who moulds our future
You are the musician who inspires us in all our undertakings
You are our guide to guide us in the right direction
You are the architect of our future

With every lesson we go through our future brightens
Each smile u lengthen
Each goal you help reach
You inspire a love of knowledge and truth
Light the path which leads our youth

Now as our exams draw nearer
We need you the most
We need you to boost our confidence
We need you to aid us in our study plan
When it is over and the marks come back
We will be elated with good marks
You will look and smile as we celebrate
With every distinction you see on our report card
Deep inside we know you must be saying to yourselves
Mission Accomplished

Now as we all celebrate teacher’s day
We hope that you will like the gifts and cards we have made for you
From all of us at ___ Primary
We wish you all a
Happy Teacher’s Day


i was totally taken aback when my cous told me of the news.. this poem was put together in abt 15min or less.. really!! whichever the case.. i really am thrilled that my work has been published.. hahaz...

Even with all the joy..
The starry sky we used to gaze up at together, where all that light shone upon the two of us, all the memories of that still will not fade away as it has already written itself a chapter in my life..
Never thought it would be this hard to forget you..

(9:26 PM)

started off the day on an extremely bad note.. woke up 30min late!! o my gosh lah.. ended up taking taxi to school to advoid the jam.. sian.. still.. i was at least consolated by an hour of free period which i used to study for my bio test.. which aparently was postponed... to this friday.. total crapness.. study so hard for today.. postponed... crap sia..

Being a welfare officer for my class is no joke.. esp when jeannete is overseas due to a sailing competition.. u really cannot imagine the amount of stuff i got to keep for her.. and there aint any space in the class for me to put the stuff yet.. now that really sux.. but it really cant be help.. well.. maybe if Leonard would hurry with those tags.. i can put this load into the spare cupboards at the side of the class which is currently not under use by any subjects except some lazy people who puts their books in em instead of their own lockers... -_-"

after school.. i thought that since my bio exam has been postponed... i could get some rest at home.. and slack a little.. but.. passing by 4a.. i was dragged in by TYK.. or Tan Yen Kheng for some stupid reason.. so i ended up doing some of my homework with annabelle.. yen kheng and nicholas.. lol.. so much for slacking at home.. hahaz.. but.. it was fun teaching them how to do some a math stuff since i learnt them before 4a.. hahaz.. o the joy o teaching...[ argh juz stop it man].. lol...

well nothing much to add now.. only hope that in due time i can forget my feelings for her.. it really aint easy... but i must at least try..
the flame i had for you once has faded into the darkness of this cold silent night...

(9:48 PM)

i tried and tried, and tried.
but i never got there.
never mind the pain, tears, heart-breaks.
the destination still stands far away.
i'm blinded,yet i'm not blind to see that i'd never get there.
but why me?is it me?or is it you?
absence makes the heart grows fonder.does it really?
or does it mean just more pain?
self-indulgence makes me upset.
i've waited and i'll always wait.
but.. till when?

nothing lasts forever.
and time wait for no one.
not me. not you. not us.
my words fall on dear ears.
my senses become numb.
my heart beats no more.
dead.

my creations never did make any sense.
perhaps it never will.
because what i feel doesnt make sense to anyone sometimes.
i cant connect.
i lose my touch.
i lose my sanity.
i lose myself.
i lose my mind.
i lose my soul.
i lose my emotions.
i lose my will.
i lose my strength.
i lose my thoughts.
i lose my light.
i lose my way.
i lose everything i could ever have.

(7:15 PM)

Wow.. todays service ROCKED!! it totally summarized what we christians are facing!! totally directed at me!! that is so ROCKING!! Thank You Joyce Meyer!! thank you and God BLess!!

every christians want to be like somebody.. for me.. i personally want to become someone like pastor Kong but i know whatever i do.. i can never be exactly like him.. in the bible, GOD said to Joshua when he took over Moses that he will be with him AS he had been with Moses.. this showed that GOD did not want Joshua to be like Moses but just to be Joshua! what he had moses may not have.. what moses had joshua may not have.. BUT whatever you do not have the LORD will make up for you.. AMEN to that!!

through all our life we may have been seeking the Lords gifts.. the promise of eternal life for example.. then if u are one of them.. u have been searching the wrong thing all these while!! one funny example given by Joyce Meyer was that single women have been asking God for them to find the right men and sorts.. and the lord was like saying back to them that they are looking for the wrong things!! seek him first not his gifts!! SEEK HIM and everything else will follow! i know that u want to find the right man! u have told me that 5million times already..[ ok maybe she exaggerated this a little ] bottomline.. Seek the Giver not the Gift Seek his face and his hand will be shown to you.. Chase after him and other things will chase after you.. seek his kingdom and his righteousness and all other things will add onto it... AMEN to that once more!

most of all us for forgivness from the lord and are not sincere about it and plan to work on it in a couple of days time.. this means that we are sacrificing that couople of days more juz to be forgiven for our sins!! the LORD does not want that.. he has already sent his son JESUS to die on the cross for our sins.. thats the biggest sacrifice of all.. the LORD does not want us to sacrifice anymore... he has already done that for us on calvary!! alleuiyah..

We are the children of GOD... never get your dos and your who wrong.. no matter what we do.. no matter how bad the mistake we committed.. we are still his precious children.. and we can always ask him for forgiveness.. for he is the all forgiving god.. he forgives and forgets.. and will never condemn us.. only the devil does that.. and the LORD will never allow the devil to enter us.. as long as we believe in CHRIST!! amen..

I may sin, i may do something against him, i may backslide.. but the blood of Jesus will cleanse us clean of all that guilt and sins, to renew me! Take a break in all your work, find your place in GOD, you may be poor but if u have the faith, righteousness, joy and peace.. you are indeed wealthy.. the greatest gift u can give to anyone.. is a healthy you, a confident you who believes in Christ!!

I know God loves me, unconditionally all the way till eternity ends, the love of GOD is the healing power of our emotions, brokeness, broken heart, rejection, etc... He loved us when we were not in sin.. even more now when we have sinned against him countless numbers of times..
The Lord will fix you over time, and the best part is that you do not have to wait for him to finsih in order for you eo enjoy yourself.. as his strength works on and through your weaknesses so work on your strenghts not your weaknesses..

I am not a failure beacause i failed.. i will only be one when i stop trying.. so pick yourself up and try again and the Lord will help you in every possible way..

the best point of all would be...
Put on the shield of peace, remove the sack of guilt, tighten the belt of truth and wear righteousness as a robe over you.. for you are useless running on the threadmill of guilt.. and the devil will bring us down with that guilt... so follow the path of Christ.. Amen..

however.. the point that really points out to me.. and possibly what i have been believing in since ppl started to make fun of me.. and surely the Lord has been helping me reinforce my stand..
<-->
I will not let what people think of me condemn me. My worth is not dependent on what others think of me or look at me.. and GOD loves variety.. i mean just take a walk around the nearby park and u will know exactly what i mean..


to sum it all up... i just want to say this to all christians... Do not worry about others.. just follow GOD.. the Lord has already laid down the path for all of us.. just follow yours and follow GOD all the way.. till your last breath..

Amen...

(7:31 PM)

today is finally Sec 1 CCA recruitment day for NCC air.. at long last...
i am finally able to put up all the planes i have in the NCC air room on display for the sec 1 to be captivated by the sight of it.. raelly must thank jia jun and his friend for flying the helicopter for the sec 1 to see cause all of us knows how to take off.. but not to land.. weird huh.. yeah i know.. hahaz.. pitting my aeromodelling skills today was really an eye opener.. never knew i can fly so well on my own b4.. really..
all went well till the sec 1s came to try their hands on it.. broke 4 out of 6 planes we had.. most of which just came from the workshop itself.. man now thats really sad.. overrall...we got like 45 sec 1 who signed up.. man.. now we have to do another selection process.. pity those who will nto be selected..

"love is not about being strong in front of your other half, not as if you are putting on a show of strength, as if you wanted to impress your other half. when you are really in love with someone, that's not how it should be. The person you really love is the one you can be weak in front of."

sometimes.. dulling an old flame or a long time crush really is easier said then done.. u can tell them right in the face that u want to break up for some reason.. and turn away with your eyes dwelling with tears..after some time.. u will go back to him or her and ask whehter u 2 can get back together as u said those words out of impulse and it just came out of your mouth and sincerely hope to have a second chance at the relationship with him or her.. for those crushes.. u can tell yourself that u will move on and choose another path for your future and leave that part of your life behind.. only to find out that no matter how much u try not to think about her.. u will inevitably still will from time to time..
it really takes time for one to get over someone.. espcially when it is your dream girl or how u want to put it..

(10:26 PM)

i mean seriuzly... what else can go wrong for me!! woke up late.. missed the bus.. extremely looonnggg assembly talking about stuff that we upper sec know already.. sitting on the hard floor of the hall trying to stay awake... trust me.. the assembly was extremely boring.. or at least it was until the end.. the video clip.. was well.. erm.. how do i put it.. entertaining enough?

going back to class.. we got back our cca point status report... and well well.. 17 points!! didn know i accumilated so much over the past 3 years..better still... it was not even completed.. i had to fill in so many other info that i didn have time to completely put them all in.. really.. my CIP hours was 66 according to the report.. but i had like 3 activities not in it.. and i forgot to write them down!! i mean.. its like at least 10 hours there!! aggonizing huh..

After school.. headed down to the NCC air room where i literally spent most of my time there as a couch potato playing flight simulators.. lol... i mean i didn know that i was playing for like what 90min? maybe more.. lol.. so fun lah!! but if got joystick nicer.. pity..

in front of your friends.. you tend to put up a tough and rugged image or any other image that your friends consider cool; but in front of that one person.. that special someone, the girl of your dreams... everything crumbles revealing a softer side of you to her..

when talking to others, you do not tend to remember what u guys actually talked about not to mention the details of it.. but when talking to her.. be it on the phone or face to face.. every little detail that comes out of her mouth enters your brain and stays there... Just for that one chance to make her happy.. surprise her with that accessories that she has been raving about all week.. or treat her to a movie that she has wanted to watch all summer.. just to make her happy.. just to see her radiant smile one more time..

love can really make you do funny things.. i mean.. there maybe a certain event that your friend wants to invite u along but u find the price too expensive.. and u turned down the offer.. only after which u found out that that someone is going for the same thing.. and u ring up your friend and ask whether the offer is still available.. and u reach for your wallet and rumage though your room to find the cash.. just to see her there.. and try to make it look like a coincidence... -_-"

love is truly a funny and complicated thing aint it?

(7:48 PM)

First day of school.. man time really flies.. i mean it only felt like yesterday when i jumped for joy as the last day of school ended and i now find myself back in the very grounds i left 2 months ago... my gosh.. more shocking? the school just painted the new block an extreme strking orange.. ok.. maybe it aint so bad.. unlike TKGS... u should really see the way their school painted.. lol... totally outrageous..lol..
stepping into the class.. leonard informed me that every teacher in our class changed except miss nawal and mr lim.. i had that blank look on my face when i heard that.... in came several new faces.. 2 of which i have never met before and i must admit... i kinda like the new teachers.. well maybe except sundar.. buy hey.. it gonna be only 1 year right? i mean it is only the last year of sec sch life in which i am gonna take my O lvl which will be the most important national exam im gonna take till date right?? ok.. maybe it aint as simple as i thought.. lol..

"....same goes for some other stuff like when you dont have a crush on a girl you dont have problem approaching her, then when you like her you are suppose to approach her and know her better but instead.... you have some problem approaching her....... hiaz..... but hey, sooner or later things will work out..."

"hiaz..... liking someone is so difficult but yet it will sometimes be so easy as well .... she like you you like her and *bang* happily ever after the end.... are you sure??? ppl change and its like you may not like that person before and you think she or he is not nice too ugly etcetc but when you get to know them better you start to say hey he/she is actually a nice person.... so in this modern world where you really really cannot judge a book by its cover, it is really the personalities of the opposite that counts to you know wat right??? =)"

extract from Heng's blog..

totally true wont you people think?? i mean surely all of us had this experience at least once or twice right?? hahaz.. for me? well.. i gonna have to agree with what the extract said.. i mean it is totally dead on!!

i mean... when u were young... u tend to poke fun at this particualr girl for no reason at all and over time maybe when u reach teen-hood.. u find yourself getting closer and closer to her emotionally and have stopped making fun at her instead trying your best to defend her when others make fun of her.. kinda drastic change right? normally u yourself will not notice it until someone hits on that dormant part of your brain.. only then will u realize that u actually like that girl and will become shy infront of her and not as fluent in you speech when u are with her after knowing that inner feelings.. when u do express that feeling to her.. she would most likely be stunned.. if u r lucky.. the 2 of you will become steads, if not u will remain as friends but a distance away from each other for a while.. funny thing love is.. i mean can anyone even explain what love really is? u can ask a dozen different people.. and u will get a dozen different answer.. weird? not in my perspective..
love by fact and im sure many will agree that it is a complicated issue.. which can bring both good and bad.. for some happiness and hopefully a blissful marriage.. while the not so fortunate ones end of dejected, depressed and possibly habor suicidal thoughts..

which ever the case.. its getting late and i seriuzly need to catch up with some sleep.. so i'll continue tml.. that is if i have the time.. lol

(10:11 PM)

Day1

the 2 days that my friends and i have been preparing for the past 2 months has finally come down to this.. and it is finally time to execute what we have installed for the new batch of sec 1s... standing in the canteen i watched anxiously as the sec 1s came pouring into the school premises.. Their faces potrayed the looks of those who just lost all of his memories.. not knowing anyone or anything about dunman sec at all.. ZERO! well.. this is exactly what this camp has been designed for.. to welcome the sec 1s to the family.. make them feel welcomed and help them settle in..
As the Senior FA of the class 1H or for this camp.. Heroic HighLanders.. i must admit that being a Senior FA is no better than a FA actually worse.. there are loads of admin work to be done behind the scenes that the FAs do not know about.. ice breakers games.. not exactly what we expected it to turn out to be.. espcially when the FAs themselves who were supposed to help with the games can come up to me and even have the cheek to ask me how the game is supposed to be played.. *OMG sound effect*
Field cooking.. a complete disaster.. the FAs were making more mistakes then the campers themselves and we senior FAs have to step in and take control of the situation... to make matters worse.. the wind was howling hard that day.. and it was nearly impossible to start a fire with that kind of wind... Mass dance introduction went way better, despite the fact that i had to go on stage to demonstrate to the sec 1s.. i had a lot of fun with those on stage.. laughing as we did the full demo of the dance.. the sec 1s.. my gosh.. you should have seen their faces.. they had this extreme shocked look on their faces... guys looking at each other with blank looks.. girls.. giggling amongst their small clusters..
Games.. finally my class had their enthuism kicked in as they charged through game after game with a never-ending burst of energy.. unfortunately.. due to them being engrossed in the game.. safety was compromised as campers fell and injured themselves and the red cross room was flooded with casualties.. sad case.. and that more or less sums up day1..

Day2

As sunlight shone into the canteen.. i woke up.. sitting on the canteen table where i laid.. starting into blank space.. as my brain tried to register what was going on around me.. before long.. i was dressed and the sec 1s came back in eagerly awaiting to find out what today has installed for them.. nothing interesting in the morning except PT.. now that felt great but somewhat rather slack.. i mean it is understandable.. they are only 12years old right.. we cannot expect alot from them..
before i came into this camp.. i prayed that i would not want to resort to scolding to get my class back on track as i had done so the previous year to 1B'05... apparently.. that was not to be.. when i asked what the class had prepared for their orientation night all i got was an eerie silence.. as my FAs were called out of the room by the camp cheif.. i took the 'hot seat' and blared at them... "do you guys have any ideas for the performance tonight?? no? so i guess what all of you want is to stand on stage and embarressed yourselves infornt of your parents.. your friends and the whole school then?
*still no response*
some of you may think that this camp is SHIT.. then let me tell you this! i have been through this SHIT exactly 3years ago.. i went through this orientation night 3 years ago.. i went thorugh it.. put up a performance.. gave it my all and succeded.. i did not embaressed myself.. nor my parents! so if you people would want to carry on and embarress yourselves.. then by all means carry on.. i dont care!.. why should i? this aint my night.. its yours!! i had mine 3 Years ago! and am in the last year of my secondary school life! so as i said.. go ahead if you want to embaress yourselves infornt of everybody... be my guest!!.. so any of you have any ideas? or did i not make myself clear?!"

before i knew it..my FAs were beside me and my advisors behind me.. faces in anstonishment...
from then on.. they were filled with enthu and came up with all sorts of ideas.. durin orienteering.. they went thorugh each task with percision.. although there were some admin problems which slowed them down considerably.. they perservered and completed what laid ahead of them.. orientation night came and ended soon enough and 1H attained the title of best supporting class on of the 3 prizes give out that night... amazing.. so yea..
thats yet another chapter of my life closed..

(10:53 AM)