moving away from my computer was hard enough.. and i now i have done so.. i am occupying myself with things never thought i would do.. im hitting the school gym well twice this week.. to prepare myself for the heats on 5th april.. wait 5th april!! o crap!! argh.. well some would know why.. hahaz..
my days seem to be fully booked by remedials.. if not it would be group studies and such.. everything academic.. sigh.. den trainings for sports day.. sigh... so whats been happening the past few days? nth much really.. other than hanging out with yh rezza and jeanette after pioneer training.. yea.. hahaz.
actually.. really nth much to blog abt this week.. so yea..

(11:41 PM)

it seriously is amazing how your day can be so screwed just becuz of a small issue.. [name].. sigh.. u are the only one who seem to be spiking me nowadays.. r u seriuzly that bored as to do such childish thing like throwing paper balls at me? how childish can you get.. esp when u r [position].. and other than the bazzar.. u dun seem to be proving your worth.. ok enuf abt you..
bio prac had never been so fun.. we did the prac paper from last year mid yr and boy was it fun.. despite the fact that i didn't revise the methods of testing for reducing sugar, protein, etc.. i was still able to remember. WOW.. its rather amazing how ones interest in a subject can help you score in it.. if only i was that enthu towards my chinese and math.. sigh.. well.. i ended up helping people explain why my answer was wad it is.. my gosh.. havent these ppl started revising? i mean.. midyr is juz round the corner!!
after lessons.. i retreated to my "santuary".. the one and only spec mess.. the only place where i seem to have a peace of mind and away from all the stress i feel outside in school and the world that revolves around me.. me and yh literally slept through 90min while waiting for pioneer training to start at 5pm.. lol..
even at the training.. we were the first to arrive.. y am i not surprised.. sigh.. jeanette came shortly after and we all had fun talking crap and snacking on glucose tablets.. rezza soon came.. 30min late for training but.. he didn miss anything.. yup.. house captain had not arrived and we were slacking.. sigh... when the training did start.. we did shot putt and high jump just for the fun of it.. rezza.. wow.. he jumped so high lah.. another potential medalist... hahaz... before that.. yh took the first of many jumps to come... before he started.. lightning flashed and the sky boomed.. echoing through the gloomy skies.. bad omen that was wad he called it. lol.. and true it was.. he jumped and was unsuccessful in clearing it.. with the pole stuck between his legs nearly hitting his.. ahem.. lol. yup.. we nv did do any real training in our field.. the track events.. sigh..wonder wad the house captains are doing.. leaving us aside.. mr lew came to know abt it and was obviously furious.. sigh.. somehow it seems to me they are holding these positions just to earn those cca points.. sigh..

(9:37 PM)

im not so sure about u guys.. but i feel that i am now starting to change in my attitude towards education.. i seem to be more willing in doing my work and of cuz to hand it in on time.. it is also so much easier for me to give my fullest attention in class.. so much change.. wow..
now on to my daily rants..[ok maybe not so daily..] started off the day with well rather wet.. it was pouring like mad outside as i rushed into school.. only to find out that all the shuttles were closed.. preventing us from going to our classrooms.. sigh.. so all of us were like crowding in the atrium and new block area waiting for them to be opened.. lol.. ended up talking crap with yh, yakai and siva.. upon entering class.. i slung my bag off my shoulders and just collasped onto the cozy corner.. lazing on the numerious cushions which laid there.. so nice lah.. before i knew it.. national athem.. lol.. my gosh lah.. and i was only lying there for like 5min.. which meant i spent like 40min waiting for the shuttles to open.. WTF... so much time gone.. i could have used it to revise my work lah.. sian..
chinese remedial.. apparently.. this time it was FUN..lol.. we had listening.. me and yakai were like making fun of the person reading the options.. [a]blah blah blah [b]lalalaa [c]crapcrapcrap [d]morecrap... den we added one more option.. [e]one of the above.. LOL.. lame i know.. but it was enuf to lighten up the boring atmosphere that surrounded us..

changed my blog music again.. this time is Heaven By Your Side- Azn Dreamers



(7:37 PM)

Friday..

this dreaded day.. meet the parents.. wah sian.. but dats later in the day.. hahaz.. the usual lessons commenced and well.. apparently.. it wasnt so boring!! firstly.. mdm erlis didn come to attend her class today for some reason.. so some of the ppl came behind me and kinda lazed ard the cozy corner at the back of the class.. which was unfortunately situated right behind me.. crap... so i tried my best to focus on the work mdm erlis left for us to do and.. managed to finish it.. praise the lord..
den.. after recess Ms Si also didn attend her lesson.. so.. we were all having fun tau-poking each other.. lol.. one thing we all learnt.. the victim always escapes.. y? cux hes at the bottom and if he has good abdomen muscles.. he wont feel the pain.. wherelse the rest on top will have to suffer being kicked by the oncoming person and sorts. which unfortuantely thats wad happend to wei ming.. his left eye was hit.. and no one knows how.. his name tag caught his upper eyelid.. thankfully he wasnt seriously hurt.. phew..
after sch was e chinese essay writing class.. and for some reason... the cher read the compo i did last week again.. my gosh lah.. every lesson which i attended.. which is 3out of 6 of them so far.. due to NCC, dental appointments.. he read out every single essay i wrote.. my gosh.. i wonder if he is going to read it again this friday.. i wonder.. hahaz..
NCC.. was well slacked.. we sent the sec1s and sec3s home as we got news that S/CLT Jeffery was coming.. lol.. no idea why.. but who cares.. the training was so SLACK!! we watched band of brothers part 2 and 3.. which was well.. the first 2 weeks of D-Day.. so nice lah.. den for drills as we were selecting the 02s for speech day.. we did wad we invented last year... placing all the cadets in different directions. den giving commands... so fun lah.. within 3 commands 5 got eliminated.. lol..
ok enuf crap.. den came the meet the parents.. my gosh.. mrs neo gave her boring speech consisiting of what she has been telling us for the past 3years plus.. den telling the parents of the vocab test.. friday night lessons.. and my parents can turn to me and ask me to attend.. and i was shocked.. havent i been attending them? u mean they didnt know?? -.-"
went back to our class and got our progress reports.. 3 D7.. my gosh.. all failed by 2 marks max.. wad the crap.. lol.. den my parents asked my teachers wad went wrong and the first qns.. was it my handwriting.. WTF.. all my teachers replied it wasnt.. phew.. wad a relief.. i wonder what will happen if they had said yes.. lol.. dun think i want to go there.. hahaz.. bio was my strongest sub with B3.. yea i know.. i have no As.. come on i slacked for this test.. lol.. they can actually ask my teacher about my behaviour in class and sorts and once again handwriting.. sigh.. amongst all the teachers they asked.. miss nawal and mr lim gave the best response.. wheez.. lol..

SAT

stayed at home and mugged the whole day... lol.. wad can i say.. parents juz went for the session.. so muz act guai a lil bit..lol.. but either ways.. they treated me to dinner at marche at suntec as the one at heerens was undergoing renovation according to them.. lol.. the food was like so nice. wonder when was e last time i ate there.. hmm.. 6months ago? with my pri sch friends? lol.. went hunting for her gift shortly after.. apparently the gift i was looking for was either out of stock or no longer selling.. but i managed to get my mum to help me find it.. as her friend sells.. sure hope i get it.. its going to be so nice.. +D

SUN

nothing interesting today except me going to the gym to work on my upper body, to prep for NAFA.. but i think i will still fail my pull-ups.. sigh.. then again.. i muz perservere..

(7:36 PM)

WED

dragging my body towards the stadium for the sports trails was already bad enough.. firstly.. mr lew asked me to join.. or rather forced.. so either ways.. we had a tedious training.. my captain didn come so i ran with the lower sec long dist runners first.. for warm up.. den did sprints.. 100m to prepare ourselves for the trails.. i signed up for the 100 and 200m 4X100 also.. so yea.. so after warm ups. it poured so we waited in the shelter.. then my cap came.. asked us to warm up again.. no objections.. den he asked us to do more sprints as a part of warm up.. then said he will take our timing.. i was shocked.. we were all already shacked.. and hes taking our timing only now? did we have any choice anyway? so we ran like 80m or so in the field as the stadium was used.. i clocked 10.54sec.. which was rather slow.. but considering the state we were in.. can lah.. hahaz..
sad part? only me yu heng and rezza were the only upper sec excl our captain were in the 100m.. so only one team for 4X100m.. i certainly hope it wont turn out that way.. +D
was completely drained after e whole thing.. went home and fell into a deep slumber..

THURS

woke up and went to school in agony.. my legs were cramped.. but nevertheless i managed to drag them to school.. PE.. was the first lesson and TKB said we were to run the 2.4km for those who wanted to take their timing.. naturally i wanted to run and get it over with.. ran.. went ahead of everyone else.. behind rui cheng only.. everything went well for half a lap round the school.. then the pain struck.. inside i screamed in agony as my legs and arms cramped up.. i stopped as i watched person after person overtake me.. knowing tat i was half way through i had to at least complete this lap..i contd to run.. at my slowest pace.. reached the final bend.. stopped as the pain took over again.. OCP then ran passed me.. my mind was telling me OMG.. so i sprinted the rest of the way and entered the school.. telling my cher i had to stop.. he obliged and i sat down on the bench as i tried to fight the pain away.. it aint easy..
now i understand wad they meant by letting your body rest before another run.. this is really one good lesson..

(9:14 PM)

damn... the results are already punishing enough for me.. not a single A but 2 B4, 2 C6, 1 C5, 2 D7 and 1 F9.. can it seriously get any worse? i was filled with optimism as i headed home today... knowing that i should put it aside and move on.. concentrating on what lies ahead..
then my dad had to come in.. he demanded my results... he already knew i had a F9 so telling him i failed 2 more.. sigh.. i recall him telling me to leave wadeva results i will get behind and move on.. well well well.. he asked me to calulate my L1R5.. OF CUZ ITS SUPER BIG.. DUH.. then he pointed towards the ITE.. at that point i was completely pissed with him.. b4 that i was so motivated to study and was working hard on my mindmaps.. den he called and asked y i didn come down to greet him.. lets evaluate.. i was in my room.. studying.. music in the background.. second floor.. closed door.. u expect me to know u are BACK?? yea right.. scolded me for turning off HP.. i am in the house.. CALL THE HOUSE PHONE LAH.. people dun wan to be distracted wad.. is that a bad excuse?? apparently it is to him.. sigh..
either ways.. i came back up and contd with my stuff.. completely demoralised only the promise of going back to church with good results kept me going.. then he barged in and said i may not even be able to go into ITE.. I WAS FURIOUS!!
DAMN IT!! SOMEONE IS TRYING TO STUDY FOR HIS Os AND THERE U ARE DEMORALISING HIM WITH ALL THIS NONSENSE!! and tat moment.. i was really pissed.. after he left i threw punches at the wall.. my knuckles nearly bled.. it was completely red and burst capilaries was visable.. sigh.. i didn even bother to greet my mum after that though i knew she returned.. my bro then asked me to come out to celeb my dad's bdae which was ytd..
i den reflected.. y should i? all this while... throughout my education.. u r there for me yea.. of cuz u were.. to criticize everything i do... every single DAMN thing.. even my CCA.. wad in the world is wrong with you? DUN GO FOR YOUR CCA!![i was suppose to attend smth in PLAB] i kindly explained that it will affect my unit's status if i didn go.. he said NVM.. it was my last year so dun care.. DUN CARE??!!! WTF..
thankfully.. i have my mum.. shes the only one who seems to know my way of thinking and how to approach me.. sigh.. if only dad could be half as good..
meet the parents this friday.. i am so gonna be slaughtered.. sigh.. i wonder what are they gonna ask my teachers.. sigh.. probably some of my chers will highlight some positive things about me.. some tat my dad does not know but my mum does.. sigh.. is he even my dad?? he dosen even know me to begin with.. after 16years.. sigh..
hes biggest flaw?? he comes down hard on me everytime.. my way?? u come down hard on me.. i react harder with more force.. [talking back, proving my point, u get e pic] sigh.. 16years.. damn someone should give him a lesson on the way i do things.. not only me.. but also how my bro does his.. my dad.. how can i phrase it..i dunno.. and i dont think i wanna put it here either ways.. its too well.. strong a word..

(10:24 PM)

the holidays.. one whole week of it.. has come and pass.. and is ticking away even as i write this entry.. this is where it all begins.. my life will be decided by what happens in the coming weeks..
the Os.. are fast approaching.. mid yr and prelims too looms b4 us.. it is only a matter of time b4 we sit in the hall and take that fateful paper..
still.. today was somewhat interesting to an extent.. me and my cous had so much to talk about... then the question pops out.. which form of Christianity am i... i was taken aback for a while.. which type? i simply replied harvester.. Hui Ying's face was like.. i dunno how to sae.. but it was super funny..lol.. Harvester?? wad exactly does it mean... it just means i am part of City Harvest.. it does not answer their question i know as there is no answer to it.. me myself have no answer for it.. as i am a Christian and thats it.. i am not a catholic, methodist, jew, etc... im just a chrsitian.. either ways.. no matter wad "form" we are.. we still worship the same GOD.. we use the same bible.. only in different variation.. it tells us the same thing..

Romans 8:38-39
For i am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in CREATION, will be able to seperate us from the LOVE of GOD that is in JESUS CHRIST our Lord..

how true is this verse.. it just proves that no matter wad "form" of Christianity we are.. we worhip the same GOD the same Lord.. Jesus Christ... the one who laid on the cross crucified.. the one who died and rose again after 3days... the one whose blood has washed us clean of our sins.. the one who has once again opened up the doors to our Father.. He is our Saviour.. amen..

now as the holidays end.. and i recheck to see if i left out anything for tml.. prepare to see a new me from tml onwards.. no more slacking.. i swear..

(9:40 PM)

army daze the play.. boy was it a refreshing memory... the cast.. the story.. completely the same.. so much that i can relate to the story so nicely.. you must be thinking y i was not bored by it den huh.. they changed the script!! it was so FUNNY!! i mean it.. the acting was like WOW..
i really do not know how to express it in words.. u gotta watch it yourself but unfortunately. today was the last show.. so too bad guys.. hahaz..
im sure those who watched the movie on tv would recall this scene.. the one when the officer came to tell Lathi about Krishna's accident.. about how the 2 were flirting and sorts..
heres the twist.. b4 the LT came... Lathi was complaining wad took krishna so long to come to her place.. then said that she told him never to take SBS as it stood for So Bloody Slow...
we all laughed once more.. then when Lathi asked whether the LT was a NS men.. he replied.. she then replied that shes large...[grabbing her boobs] we were all taken aback for a sec then laughed our heads off.. throughout the whole play.. there was not one moment the smile rubbed off my face.. i was grinning all the way through.. probably the fact that there were military elements in it.. so i can relate to it in every single way.. hahaz.. den the jokes were never-ending..keeping us entertained throughout..
knowing a little bit of hokkien did help as some of the jokes were in hokkien and ponk was like askin me wad it meant all the time ahhaz..
so yea.. thats the end of the last outing for this holidays.. and probably for a long time to come.. sigh.. KAMBETTE all for their Mid-Yr.. =P

(10:44 PM)

THURS
in the morn.. i had bio prac.. which was well.. creative.. cuz all we did was draw draw and draw somemore.. lol.. the good thing was that we were drawing fresh fruits.. and as i had not eaten my breakfast.. i pop them into my mouth as soon i am done drawing them.. lol..
i then met yu heng at tm food court to makan b4 heading down to Victoria Concert Hall for e band concert.. and well well.. we saw kenneth and marwin over there!! hahaz.. apparently they too were headed down there.. so we kinda tagged along..lol
what else can be the highlight of this day then the band concert SERENATA IV.. it was so nice!! though i missed the first 2 pieces thanks to kevin.. lemme share this sms.. your concert or your friend.. i was seriously fustrated with him when he actually had the guts to send me this sms.. he is already late... nvm that he was late refering to the time i set for him.. but even for the time span he gave me.. he came right on the dot.. wow.. U THINK MOVIE ARH!! LATE CAN JUST GO IN!! sigh.. nvm.. lets just put that behind..
end of the concert.. wad does a typical dunmanite do? come on.. u should know.. we all shouted ENCORE!!! lol.. typical.. hahaz.. been doing that for the past 4 years in dunman..hahaz.. everytime concert.. be it choir or band.. hahaz..
went for supper afterwhich at lau pa sat.. where we ordered satay.. which was how should i say.. not by choice.. lol.. we were dragged in by one of the satay stall holders and he passed us his menu.. in order not to be paiseh.. we sat and ordered from him..lol.. then he took such a long time to cook the food.. wtf.. hahaz.. had ice kachang b4 the satay and my gosh.. the serving was so big with a topping of red bean for only $1.50 in all!! if only there was such a stall in tampines or simei..lol..

FRIDAY

went for a math make up remedial with tk.. while waiting for the bus.. i constantly found myself looking at my watch to check the time.. as the minutes ticked by.. i got more and more anxious that i would be late.. the bus did not arrive on time.. and took an extremely long time to come..i sms miss nawal that i would be slightly late.. and kept apologising.. i became impatient and wanted to hail a cab.. then the bus came so i boarded it.. i looked at my watch.. 11.55am.. 5min till i was late..i knew i was not going to make it.. i felt a very hard feeling.. one that i feel very uneasy and would feel it whenever i was gonna be late.. be it 5min or even 1 min.. so for those meeting me for anything in the future.. PLZ BE EARLY.. if only everyone had the same punctuality as me.. the world would function at a much faster pace..sigh.. how i wished.. lol..
went for chinese cr8tive writing shortly after... not surprisingly.. there were very few who turned up.. then i went into my class.. only 1 girl was there.. i was shocked.. only 2 of us?? wtf..
either ways.. my cher passed me back my compo i wrote 2 weeks back.. [43/50].. i was like OMG.. u sure there aint no mistake! i never got so high b4 lah..
went for eng class at 6.. mrs neo was like.. i duno how to sae.. on high?? she started making all the weird laughs and lame jokes.. and all of us were like.. -.-"..lol..
after that.. nothing really interesting.. hahaz.. other then met a'in at bus stop... which was fate i guess.. hahaz.. well u guys can use ur imagination to figure wad happened next.. but dun think so far.. cuz nth much happened ahhaz..

(11:32 PM)

is this the end of a career?? the end of my NCC career in the what i would call the most prestigious CCA amongst all in dunman? with 4 year GOLD award in BUC [best unit competition] awards in last year air competition.. 1st in National NCC Orienteering competition 2004.. 1st in Dunman NCC orienteering 2004[this awards is total crap]..just to name a few.. probably the last time i dawn the NCC uniform which i have worn for the last 4years.. then again.. im not really sure whether i can leave the unit in peace.. the sec3 are still unfarmiliar with their new responsibility.. our new admin is well.. having loads of cock up.. aero aint really know how to handle captain victor yet..[syafiq should know wad i mean].. training.. ROs need alot of improvements.. Flight Sgt.. erm.. tink i better not sae anything.. hopefully after Spec cse in june.. they can really independently run the show.. den again.. earlier would be better.. lol.. i mean.. when i study.. my mind aint really on the books.. half the time im worrying abt NCC.. sigh..
either ways.. the trip today to Murai camp was well.. a time of socializing.. not amongst us only.. but with the officers there too.. the 2LT,1WO,CPT,3SG... loads of em actually.. we just sat down and chat abt well.. everything..lol.. cuz we finished at 11.. and our bus only comes at 12..so.. yea.. sat down in their "Murai Mess" and chat.. hahaz..
went for Bio remedial after that.. nothing interesting as it was mostly theory except for drawing plants... -_-"
well.. surely by now you would have realized that i have changed my blog's music.. from savage garden Crash N Burn... to Click 5 Catch Your Wave...


Catch Your Wave

In the middle of the night
That's when you caught my eye
I chased you round in memories
Through the breeze and the trees and you tease me
But hey

The clock's turning around
And you're still playing these games
It's such a waste to bring me down, down, down
Don't bring me down cause

Hey girl,I wanna catch your wave
Hey girl,I wanna drift away with you
Hey girl,you've got an undertow
Hey girl,hey girl, don't wanna let you go

When I turned sixteen
That's when I started to dream
I chased you round in memories
Through the breeze and the trees and you tease me
But hey

Well every princess has her knight
And I'm still in it for the fight
Not givin in, I'm gonna win, win, win
I'm gonna win cause

Hey girl,I wanna catch your wave
Hey girl,I wanna drift away with you
Hey girl,you've got an undertow
Hey girl,hey girl don't wanna let you go

I'm never gonna let you go

Hey girl, I wanna catch your wave
Hey girl, I wanna drift away with you
Hey girl, you've got an undertow
Hey girl, hey girl, dont wanna let you

Hey girl, I wanna catch your wave
Hey girl, I wanna drift away with you
Hey girl, you've got an undertow
Hey girl, hey girl, don't wanna let you
Hey girl, hey girl don't wanna let you go
I'll never let you go
Alright


hope you like the new music.. =)

(5:33 PM)

The final week of relaxation... before most of us head full steam towards our Os.. where i aim to acheive less than 12points for Os.. and hopefully enter TJC.. my first choice... well.. thats besides the point now..
havin remedial with 4E today really made me realize something.. i tend to concentrate better in an enviornment where i know few very well.. sat beside kelvin and tk.. all of us were bent on paying attention in class which was the main factor to me absorbing so much today.. doing the workbook was a breeze during chem.. me and kelvin argues our point when our answers differed.. Mdm Erlis could only look on as we fought to make our point known to each other... well.. u see.. the 3 of us were sitted right infront of the teachers table.. so yea. hahaz..
heading home...i helped kelvin escape from mdm erlis as he didn bring his book.. lol..not exactly sure what im getting myself into by helping him infront of everyone.. but heck.. lol.. i am the first to complete her assignments.. which meant i could leave first.. and kelvin asked to go to the toilet.. so yea.. hoped that brought down the suspicsion..lol.. which i doubt it would anyways.. hahahaz..
i opened the new paper today.. and one of the articles was a 100KG man attacked people in Tampines.. then i read on.. the scene was very farmiliar! in fact i was there with kelvin juz 2 hours after the incident took place.. i was in shock for awhile.. thank god i wasnt there earlier.. i dun really want to know wad would happen to me.. lol.. i mean come on!! 100KG man.. i would most probably be crushed by him.. and my punches.. if i tried to hit him. would juz bounce off his tub of fat..lol
the final outing with my NCC buddies.. tml would be the day.. sigh... my career in NCC would come to a halt after the trip to murai camp.. maybe i'll juz drop by once in a while to see how the training is progressing and sorts..nothing more.. i have full confidence in syafiq whom has succeed me.. finally i can push this stress aside and fully concentrate on my books.. or rather i hope i can.. hahaz..

(7:04 PM)

(12:45 PM)

Does a clone really mean u r identical?
biologically they are identical when u compare their DNA and genes.. Facial features would be the same with only a few differences as those of twins..
but what happens when u place these clones in different environment to grow up in.. take a look at them 10 years later.. no change.. only if u look at them on the outside... never judge a book by its cover.. sounds familiar? each and every one of them would posses a different personality.. different character..
Star Wars Attack of The Clones.. surely most of you would have watched the show.. then surely u know of the massive clone army the republic has.. all posses the same discipline.. same character as they were all trained for combat in the same environment.. playing republic commandos.. i noticed the difference of character between the commando and a clone trooper.. the commandos personality and character were more... how should i say it.. similar to that of an army officer.. he demands respect and do not tolerate ill discipline.. which was clearly expressed during an argument with a clone trooper and Delta 1198 "boss"... play the game and u will know what i mean...
coming back to my point.. our personality and characters are defined by the environment we grow up in.. which is why our parents provide for us to the best we can.. but not to the extent that we are spoilt by them..
me and kevin.. we are both brothers by christ but we have completely different ways of thinking.. i relate my studies to the lord very differently then he does.. becuz of the fact that my parents drilled into my head how important education is in our life.. kevin thinks of it as a path set my god.. for me it is indeed a path.. but one that we have to work for it to walk the path that the lord wishes and had planned for us to take.. if we fail in one aspect the lord plans another route for us.. that my way of thinking.. im not so sure abt my other christian friends out there.. but hey.. itz juz me..

(9:37 PM)

When I dream

I could have the mansion that is higher than the trees
I could have all the gifts I want and never ask please
I could fly to Paris, oh, it's at my beck and call
Why do I live my life alone with nothing at all?


But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true
When I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true


I can be the singer or the clown in every room
I can even call someone to take me to the moon
I can put my makeup on and drive the men insane
I can go to bed alone and never know his name


But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true
When I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true

(9:36 PM)

(9:16 PM)

the "preliminary rounds" of sec 4 has ended... every one has passed it no matter how badly they did for it is as i had said earlier a wake up call for all of us.. if a common test already is too much for us to take.. wad more the Os.. sigh..
sometime i wish the battered wings on my back could fly me out of this reality once more.. my mind seem to be thinking of all sorts of stuff these days.. but thats besides the point.. holidays are here.. but as we had discussed in chinese class.. are the holidays really wad they are called? in my case.. it aint.. the holidays has been jam packed with activities.. NCC.. classes.. remedials.. sigh.. theres just so many.. lemme go through wad i have to wad i know so far..

MON- nothing just as yet

TUES- phy chem e math a math[best part is.. all clash]

WED- NCC Murai Camp UAV Simulator... Biology [shift phy chem to tues cuz of these..]

THURS- Biology Senereta IV

FRI- Chinses cr8tive writing.. english classes

SAT- Army Daze Play

SUN- nothing just as yet..

for the days which has nth.. most likely i will mug the whole day.. looking at my sucky results.. if i dun start now.. when? sunday... wanted to go for grp study wit yh.. but parents seem to be against that idea as they think it was unproductive looking at my a math result... they dun seem to understand the fact that i didn do a math on that day.. sigh.. either ways.. maybe i'll try to sneak out to study with friends.. studying alone the whole day can seriously lead you to IMH in no time... duh..

(5:04 PM)

a F9 for a math doesen seem to be the end of this torment.. chinese was so hard.. didn even understand the passage.. but that didn seem bad enuf.. english marks for the first part came back.. kenneth yau.. 8/25... my jaw dropped.. i mean literally.. only 3 passed the section.. which is total crap!! i know the passage was chim and all.. but this is ridiculous! how can i get 8?! this means i must get at least 17 for my summary to pass!!! argh..
rest of the day was well.. rather sleepy.. i spent most of my time not listenin to class.. but rather thinking abt other stuff.. primarily abt my results and the consequences i had to suffer cuz of it.. friendship connnection this week at CHC and i was going to bring one of my friend along and this had to happen.. i might have seen her life saved as she accepts jesus as her saviour but guess that will have to wait for a very long time to come.. she would only go if i went.. which i am unable to cuz my dad forbid me.. sianz..
the fact that i will be away from CHC for 2 whole months erks me.. how can i be away from the house of GOD for 2 whole months? its just unimaginable.. really.. CHC may allow me to watch the svc from home via internet.. but the feeling aint the same.. sigh..
other thoughts included friends.. family issues.. esp with my dad.. NCC.. and a whole loads of stuff which are well personal.. duh..
life goes on.. and by faith i know the lord will lead me out of this..

(10:00 PM)

courtesy of tai tai..

way on how to say i love you...

English - I love you

Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief

Albanian - Te dua

Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)

Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)

Armenian - Yes kez sirumen

Bambara - M'bi fe

Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi

Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu

Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo

Bulgarian - Obicham te

Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah

Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oi ney

Catalan - T'estimo

Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse

Chichewa - Ndimakukonda

Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)

Creol - Mi aime jou

Croatian - Volim te

Czech - Miluji te

Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig

Dutch - Ik hou van jou

Esperanto - Mi amas vin

Estonian - Ma armastan sind

Ethiopian - Afgreki'

Faroese - Eg elski teg

Farsi - Doset daram

Filipi no - Mahal kita

Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua

French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore

Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort

Georgian - Mikvarhar

German - Ich liebe dich

Greek - S'agapo

Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo

Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw

Hawaiian - Aloha wau ia oi

Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)

Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)

Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw

Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae

Hmong - Kuv hlub koj

Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta

Hungarian - Szeretlek

Icelandic - Eg elska tig

Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw

Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu

Inuit - Negligevapse

Irish - Taim i' ngra leat

Italian - Ti amo

Japanese - Aishiteru

Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene

Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka

Kiswahili - Nakupenda

Konkani - Tu magel moga cho

Korean - Sarang Heyo

Latin - Te amo

Latvian - Es tevi miilu

Lebanese - Bahibak

Lithuanian - Tave myliu

Malay - Aku cintapadamu

Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu

Mandarin - Wo ai ni

Marathi - Me tula prem karto

Mohawk - Kanbhik

Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik

Nahuatl - Ni mits neki

Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni

Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg

Pandacan - Syota na kita!!

Pangasinan - Inaru Taka

Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo

Persian - Doo-set daaram

Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay

Polish - Kocham Ciebie

Portuguese - Eu te amo

Romanian - Te ubesk

Russian - Ya tebya liubliu

Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort

Serbian - Volim te

Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents positionof fingerswhen signing'I Love You')

Sioux - Techihhila

Slovak - Lu`bim ta

Slovenian - Ljubim te

Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo

Swahili - Ninapenda wewe

Swedish - Jag alskar dig

Swiss-German - Ich lieb DiTagalog - Mahal kita

Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li

Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe

Tamil - Nan unnai

Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)

Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)

Turkish - Seni Seviyorum

Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu

Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo

Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)

Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)

Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu

Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh

Yoruba - Mo ni fe

(9:45 PM)

a wake up call.. that is exactly wad i am hearing aft looking at my a math results.. just one day aft taking that test... reality has finally struck.. F9.. the red mark... its going to be reflected onto my report card.. though not on the report book.. it is bad enough..
when i got the results.. i was stunned.. i scanned through and counted the marks.. it is a fact of life.. i have failed the paper.. and i hold it in my hands just over 1 day after doing it.. thoughts went through my mind.. wad went wrong.. i wasnt thinking what my parents were going to do to me.. i was most afraid of them preventing me from going to church.. i could forgo EVERYTHING! except that..
i just had a heart to heart talk with my mum.. "i've done enough" "no problem..." "im prepared for the common tests".. she highlighted these out to me.. words that came out from my mouth.. not hers not my dad but mine.. the consequence of this results? church is now so far away.. i wont be able to worship in the house of god for some time.. probably up to 3months till my mid yr are over.. it is all worth it? to be complacent.. arrogant.. and live on only to suffer this? actions have consequences.. and i accept that..
the fact that Os looms so super close to us.. the fact that i have done so little to prepare myself for it.. they are the actions i choose to take.. i was given freedom.. i abused it and now i have none.. i am controlled by my father.. though it is not confirmed.. i know it will turn out this way.. for this is the important year.. flunking this yr would be enough to sign my death warrant..
after thinking through.. i should accpet this.. maybe.. no.. not maybe.. i must.. this will help me in the long road ahead..
CCA..study groups..ALL STOP! from now on.. i will concentrate fully on my Os..
and if i prove to myself i have done it.. then maybe i would take a breather and catch a movie.. but thats later.. for now.. my books are my best friends..


(7:14 PM)

took this from yu heng's blog...

to know or not to know...... does it make sense at all??
sometimes thing are best when you know it all..... examples are your subjects..... best if you know them....if you know wat your friends where thinking bout is also nice to know

however there are also things tats best for you if you didnt know..... if you didnt know know someone liked you... you wont have to reject tat person..... if you didnt know her/him you wont fall into him/her and hurt yoursef if you got rejected..... if you didnt know how to study, you wont have to go through the pain of failing...... if you didnt know how to run, you wont know how to fall....

If you didnt know how to love, then you wont need to learn how to hate....

If u didnt know how to live, then u wont need to learn how to die......

i totally agree with what he just said.. i mean.. don't you? u have been with this girl and known her as a friend for some time and suddenly one of your friends just pass a casual remark asking whether u have a crush on her and sorts.. den it just hits you.. and all those thoughts starts to swivel in your head.. u start to speak to her in a more cautious mannar.. behaving in a very odd way.. when u finally confess to her of your liking.. you hope and pray for her to accept it and hopefully go into a mutual relationship.. more often then not.. she rejects you.. saying shes not rdy.. has someone else in mind.. use your imagination..
she starts to avoid you after knowing your feelings.. den u wonder whether u should have told her of your feelings or not.. sigh..

bottomline.. this is just what me and him thinks.. not sure of what u guys have in mind.. so if u want.. u can leave a comment.. or juz tag at the tagboard yea..

(9:31 PM)

5March

woke up in the morn feeling so refreshed and prepared myself for the long day ahead which i plan to use mainly for studying.. which i did at e airport.. together with yu heng.. shiffa.. jannah and kwok.. cant believe i actually sat there for a full solid 5 hours of studies.. i mean.. it is like so condusive lah.. managed to absorb so much more than studying at home.. away from all e distractions.. well.. studying in a group would definitely have its fun side.. firstly... Jannah got lost in changi airport.. is that even possible?? lolz.. den yu heng was like reciting everything he read from the bio textbook like a play back recorder.. damn irritating.. but funny... lol..

6March

so the common tests have begun.. once more and for the last time ever.. the tests consisting of only a few chaps are soon to be gone as the common tests commence today and end on thurs.. future exams would be based on both sec 3 and 4 work.. now that really will be super stressful.. haiz..
either ways.. after the test papers.. i headed down to the sch library to study bio with nadiah.. and the library was like so deserted..so quiet.. so extremely condusive!! u can seriously stay there the whole time studying and no one would care.. but who would be that siao rightz.. hahaz.. ended up smsing a'in for 30min.. den a 10min talk as she took me on a wild goose chase ard sch... -_-.. only to find out she was studying at takashimaya library.. never knew there was such a place lor.. lol..
headed down to mr Quek's place for tuition where i delicated 1 hour of my time on bio.. though it has no relation to the sub i hae tuition on.. heck.. i am having a test on it tml for crying out loud.. tuition was fun of cuz.. if only sch lessons were this fun.. sigh..


is it just me.. or are my entries just getting shorter and shorter.. lol.. surely u realized that right.. hahaz..

(10:15 PM)

3March
went to PLAB for a flight simulator... one of the 3 who sat in the cockpit and flew the simulator!! it was so cool!! lifted off and flew into the direction of my house with some guidance of cuz... hahaz.. did some stunts along the way and eventually landed.. i was the only one who landed!!! the other guy didn land at all as he was cut short.. another came in too fast and crashed instead.. awww.. lol.. lef the place with yet another souvenior from SAF.. lol.. this time it was a small pouch... not bad actually..
went back to school to see hw was the netball team doing and to my horror.. they were losing.. i dun wish to put the score here.. but they lost.. and will not be able to enter Nationals already.. sigh.. i feel so sorry for them... sorry gals.. just hope ur juniors can bring back that glory yea?

4 March
Renewed faith... i may not have went to church yesterday but the grace of the lord he has sent my dear friend Kevin over to my place to pray for me.. after an hour of studying.. we discussed abt wad the Lord has been doing in our life and shared each others perspective of what we think of GOD... apparently our thinking conflicts with each other in several ways.. probably due to the way we were brought up.. i was brought up in a family where my parents tell me everyday how important is it to have a good education which is why i relate almost everything towards that area.. probably.. kev on e other hand believes that in wadeva he do where ever he will go.. the lord has planned for it.. true and i agree with that.. though i have a rather different perpective towards it.. its abt the same..
he den prayed for me and we spoke in tongues.. i felt the holy spirit through kevin's hand and the lord gave me a new tongue.. praise the lord!

5March
so that was that.. my parents later told me in the morning that they thought we went nuts or smth in my room as we spoke in tongues.. but she asked me whether we were which obviously we were.. lol.. she also told me my bro freaked out when we in prayer.. lol.. ok.. whatever that means.. hahaz.. going out to study with jannah and shiffa later.. so yea.. see yea..

(8:26 AM)