i suppose that u all would have noticed the change in my blog layoout.. lonely?.. probably..

SAT
went to sch early in the morn thinking that the a math remedial was on.. only to find out that it was cancelled and no one told me.. to make things worse.. Bernard scolded me for wearing jeans on a sat to sch.. WTF?? i mean there are hoards of ppl wearin jeans to sch on weekends.. and y muz he pick on me? juz becuz i was part of the s1oc06 camp he picks on me?? no link lor.. either ways.. did my work in air rm.. den taught the 03s mutuals and how to raise the flag.. we actually raised 2 sch flag.. crap sia.. had to keep reminding them not to raise all the way up.. juz in case ppl nearby think that dmn sec wanna take over singapore..lol.. went to TM later to buy aerospace tix..$21.. so ex lor.. but i had high expectations so i thought it would be worth it.. joined the queue and asked the guy in front whether it was for the aerospace.. he stared at us in disbelief and walked away.. not really sure why he was there in the first place.. heck.. hahaz.. tried the coke light that day.. and o my gosh.. it SUX!! thank goodness it was free..

SUN
went to the asian aerospace.. total disappointment.. the air show esp.. the only nice things there?? AH-64 apache and the F-15 Fighting Falcon. nothing else.. $21 wasted.. crap..

MON
very slack yesterday.. so nth much to comment abt sch things.. went wit yh to Tuition at Mr Quek place..so fun lor.. watched a part of underworld:evolution and the whole of Fearless.. wasnt really paying attention to Fearless as i was conc on my a math sums.. cracked my brain for like 30min on one sum Mr Quek gave me which he claims is the most difficult of all the a math question.. and it truly is. or maybe its juz becuz i became rusty in circular measures.. hahaz..

TUES
which is today of cuz.. Biology.. no Mr Lim= uh o we r dead.. relief teacher=we died the min she came in.. the relief teacher.. Miss Izzathi or something like that.. is a complete NOOB at teaching.. she failed at getting the class attention..and read the answers out from the wb at such a snail's pace that i fell asleep.. she had a freaking visualizer set up for her and she refuese to use it.. if i were to fail my BIO.. it would be becuz of her! i know NUTS abt asexual reprodutction.. LITERALLY!! MR LIM!! COME BACK SOON!! we r dying here..


y i sae im lonely.. i find myself being more and more distant from my class.. there are some that sae my class is united already.. i seriously beg to differ.. i experienced it first hand.. i organised so much for my class last year and only a handful turn up.. designed the class shirt and a quater of the class didn buy it though they bugged me to get the shirt soon.. class chalet saw only half the class there... tis is sad.. really.. united?? dun tink so.. even now.. they haven got the notice board up.. $500 at our disposal.. collecting dust as we just "cant find the time to buy the stuff". same old excuse all the time.. sigh..


after saying that we should just be friends and u push the whole thing aside hoping not to think so much about it.. u den realize that it is impossible to actually do so.. u bluff yourself that u dun love her anymore but deep inside u still do.. the flame only waiting to be rekindled.. Love is so complicated.. ask a dozen people and u will get a dozen different answer back.. literally.. really. u can try if u want to.. to speak the truth.. i am experiencing this right now.. the flame.. i somehow managed to dose it.. hopin that flame will only stay as a glowing splint.. now that we 2 are good friends.. that is what i should accept.. and well.. juz move on.. she aint ready yet.. thats wad she told me.. not once.. but twice.. since i had a crush on her.. that was since early sec 2.. i really dunno wad to sae.. maybe it was meant to be.. or maybe we just aint fated to be together.. that she aint that special other i seek.. maybe..............
maybe i should just conc on my studies.. and persue this dream of mine to find HER in JC... maybe.....

(7:29 PM)

24FEB

this is such an eventful day.. well both sad, sick, and kinda cool.. y sad?? cuz.. Mr Lim will be leaving us for his NS reservice this week.. the week right before commontest.. such nice timing lor..
so now why i say sick?? CUZ THE WHOLE DAY I SPENT IT IN SCHOOL!! since 6.30am when i stepped into the primises till 9.20pm!! whole day gone.. why?? cuz the sch had to jam pack so many stuff on this day.. chinese compo tuition.. CCA[exception].. den the night class.. sian.. best part?? aft NCC.. me tk and yh choing to buy curry puff.. only to get bigger ones during the break of the night class.. -_-.. ok.. so during e break we played bball.. for the first time in a verrrryyyy long time.. literally.. the last time i played was in when? p5?? yup.. that long.. shot tink abt a 10% success rate..lol.. well if u call that bad.. yh shot the most in but also missed the most.. tink like 1 in every 20 shots?? abt 5%.. LOL...
now y i say cool?? today we had the student leaders agumentation ceremony.. which they stressed that the student council is the highest form of leadership in dmn itself.. ok so let me put up a speech which my friend praba had written.. and we the members of dmn air are proud to spread this "propangada".. well sort of.. this speech is taken from this site.. http://voodoo3dfx.net/?p=41

Let me first begin with this quotation from Mr. Bernard Ram Bagtha, Discipline Master Dunman Secondary School. “The Student Council is the highest form of Leadership in Dunman.”
Honestly, I beg to differ.

Let me continue with another quote by General Lao, a Chinese General.
“A Leader is best when people barely know he exists, not so good when people obey and acclaim him, WORSE when they despise him… “

It’s a no brainer fact that practically every single one of us hates the Student Council and there’s no need to argue about that. Why do we hate them? Who made them councilors?

Let’s now take a look back at Secondary 1 and 2. Teachers are the ones who choose the councilors. Honestly I would say that at that period of time in Secondary 1 and 2 a teachers would tend to choose students who are simply just well behaved and smart with their studies to become Student Council trainees.

Let’s leave that point for now and take a look at last year’s elections. There were three candidates put up for us to vote from. Namely, Wan Ting, Taariq and Jasmine. Let us look at Wan Ting and what she made as part of her main campaign… It’s PARTIES! To have parties for every event you can possible imagine? Nice area to campaign on.

Let us now look at the their overall theme that they campaigned on, they all said that they would work to make the student council more favorable among students and so on. Honestly months after the elections I see no changes in this situation. The student council remains as this unfavorable organization in the school and yet, according to them it is the highest form of leadership in Dunman.

Let us now look at the backgrounds of the three candidates that were put up for elections, both Wan Ting and Taariq from 4A and Jasmine Tai is from 4D AND the SCHOOL voted for Jasmine Tai instead of Wan Ting or Taariq. Why is that? It all comes down to who they are…

Wan Ting added this on her campaign that she felt that she deserved to be the president because she was from 3A and was smart and doing well in her exams. Doesn’t it further proof my point that she was indeed chosen to be a councilor because of her studies, not because of her leadership skills ?

Further more I have to put this across that there was No Teacher’s day celebrations last year, Why is that councilors? Why? Even if Mrs. Neo the principal had decided to cancel it, did you fight for our wishes to create a day of happiness for our teachers? No… Did you fight or even represent our wishes? No… This clearly shows, how outspoken the council is. They can’t even represent the student body’s interests.

With all this I just have one word to say in a local language, are we training “Kuniang” leaders? Leaders who cannot represent those below them… Leaders who are going to become future national leaders because of their impressive testimonials.

Let me ask this, do you think they can represent Singapore’s interests, let us take the crooked bridge issue for example, do you these leaders could possibly protect Singapore’s interests? Definitely NO. They would easily succumb to pressure and not ensure the people’s views that they are representing will be heard.

Lastly, let me quote this line from the Student Council’s objective,

“To Act as a liaison between the student body and the school administration and staff.”

Honestly, how are they going to act as a liaison when they are hated by the student body and not even united internally? If only the council was united, even if Wan Ting had been voted out and got the vice president position her ideas of having parties would have definitely taken place, but you can’t see that happening can you.

All I’m trying to say is at the end of the day, I do not agree that the Student Council is the highest form of leadership in Dunman, there are other better leaders out there who can do a much better job and to indirectly insult them that they are lower class leaders is simply atrocious.

after reading it.. im sure u have been enlightened by it.. in one way or another.. and of cuz.. the speech is copyrighted by Prabakaran DMN SEC 5B who is also my RSM of DMN AIR...so please if u wish to take anything from this speech.. please ask first...
http://voodoo3dfx.net

thanks..

(2:39 PM)

what in the world is happening.. first the NYP scandal.. which was already rather dramatic and to add it on.. the 03s score for IMT was pathetic!! Literally.. i mean what can you say abt a results thats read 1 out of 23 pass.. that totally sux lah.. and this is like only IMT!! grouping for the canadian bull target can reach as far as 6m... either they are plain dumb.. rifle prbo[common excuse] or just BO BO shooters.. which unfortunately.. dmn is famous for... no offence.. but our shooting results for IMT has not really been that fantastic but this really takes the cake.. sigh..

i really have nothing to say abt the results.. but cross my fingers and pray that the other areas can help pull up the score.. esp aero.. which i seriously hope my successor can maintain or best better me in terms of achievement.. for the air competition.. but somehow i dun feel easy abt handing over the whole operations over to him so fast. even with CLT aqil.. i still dun have a peace of mind.. but 'O's has really taken up my mind and am willing to cast everything aside to study for it.. with the exception of NCC air which from time to time i will check back to see how things are going.. or maybe i will just stay active till the 03s become specs.. only then can i really wash my hands clean of NCC.. to conc on my studies.. if only i can do that right here right now.. but.. the results of the IMT has proven to me that the 03s are still now ready to take the unit..
looks like im stuck in here for the time being.. maybe i'll call it a day aft i finish the unit shirt..
HOPEFULLY

(9:09 PM)

SERIOUSLY!! i never thought tuition could be that much of a FUN!! hahaz.. started tuition at mr quek house.. which was.. well extremely easy to find.. as the name MR QUEK was quite prominent on his front door.. -_-" and not to mention the extreme big wasp nest at his neighbour's house... eerkk.
got to work on a math there.. and dude..it is the ideal place for me to study.. great ppl.. great teacher..kinda reminds me of miss nawal.. and of cuz.. the enviornment.. everyone is there to study which makes you wanna study!! now that roX!! if only my class can be that way. if only.. its a dream that i dun tink can ever be accomplished.. esp with some troublemakers.. but life goes on..
i managed to clarify several doubts abt differentiation and.. he asked me this question.. y did i get a C6 for a math last year after he evaluated the way i did the sums.. he commented that my comprehension skill was equal to that of a B3 student.. well.. i gotta admit.. i hate to practice.. which is y i need him to force me to do just that.. XD
overall.. i must thank yu heng for introducing me to this tuition.. i hope that it can help me in my quest to achieve my desired grade in GCE 'O'...

(9:15 PM)

18FEB

waking up never felt so hard.. i could only wish that time would just stand still and let this day last forever.. to continue serving the unit the best we can.. putting on the uniform with the 1SG rank prominent on my sleeves.. i knew that this would be the last training that my batch would be in command..
walking into school i saw my cadets all smiling and happily chatting with each other before eventually falling in at the shout of a command. i would most certainly miss those times.. a last training hopefully meant new oppurtunities and i was given one by being a flag raiser during muster parade.. though i have done this countless numbers of times during school flag raising.. this would be the first for me during NCC itself.. even still.. after raising the flags.. me and tk had to go for the s1oc06 post mortem which we stayed for an hour before going back in for training..
everything was routine as such of a normal weekend training.. the PT, drills, major break, lecture, drills, muster parade then home.. well at least not for the last part.. we had fun..
well.. it was MSG Praba bdae so.. yea.. bdae bash.. hahaz.. we made it so fake lor.. as it was our final training.. we marched one last time from the parade square to the spec mess from where we cooked up all sorts of crap.. relieving our times in NCC air itself.. esp Spec Cse.. lol.. at the command of bersurai.. we all said we wanted a group hug and charged at praba pulling him to a pillar and tied him up with a rope.. from which we had fun throwing water at him.. and of cuz.. pouring water from above at the connector of the new block.. we left him soaking wet.. worse then wad we did to SCLT faiz last year... ending everything with a big bang.. now that really rox..

leaving the sch primises.. i saw a girl lying helplessly on the road as a crowd gathered round before an ambulance arrived.. an accident had occured right outside of Dmn Sec.. from what i gathered.. 2 bus stopped on the road at the bus stops opp each other.. leaving no line of sight.. the girl dashed out and was hit by a car.. her leg run over by the tire.. i seriously hope she is ok..

met kevin shortly after from which we went to CHC together.. had so much fun there.. and we were both wearing a very striking colour.. oragne.. lol.. we had dinner after service together with the CELL.. had so much fun.. dessert was the best.. kev had mango ice kachang.. feng shan[i hope i spell right] had strawberry and i hda durain.. wahahaz.. if only one more had ordered the original one.. then complete le.. lol..

(1:37 PM)

16Feb

ok.. so lemme blog abt ytd first... started the day like any other.. wake up.. bath.. head to sch.. go through all the stupid boring lessons.. then.. skipped Mrs Sundar E math lesson!! yea.. cuz y?? went for Part D hands on at PLAB..
we all went there. dressed smartly in our no3.. only to find ourselves the odd ones out.. all were wearing the no4 uniform except out school.. its like so embaressing lah.. i mean.. all the other schools had the admin info telling them to wear their no4 and we are the only one who did not.. admin cock up?? dun tink so.. either ways.. we didn do any thing much.. so wearing no3 was rather appropriate.. and.. its way more cooling in singapore's hot climate..
we had the chance to operate the RBS70.. of cuz via the simulator.. which was rather fun. well maybe not.. after our turn.. we the dmn ppl.. were so extremely bored that we started to play stupid childish games.. eg. chopsticks, chikopak and some finger game.. which was of cuz lame.. but it helped us pass the time..
next we went on to the see how actually an airfield operates and got to see how ppl operated the radar sys.. well by chance of cuz as we were held there while the first grp went in to see the mock up airfield.. there we were.. sitting down and listening so enthu to the ppl as they did their stuff.. they sounded so professional!! just the kind the RSAF needs.. hahaz.. either ways.. this whole thing was crap.. total waste of time.. and we used it mostly to socialize with friends within the unit and friends in NCC made during courses...

17FEB

back in school.. bt today it is different as we are having a half day in celeb of last yrs good O lvl results.. well maybe its good of the lower sec and sec3 but not for the grad classes.. for me.. i have a chinese cr8tive writing thing at 11.30.. then a night study from 6-9pm.. damn stupid.. but am skippin the chinese thing as i am going back to PLAB for the same thing as ytd.. hahaz..
we had a total defence day concert today... and finally.. the revival of KAKU.. it was like so funny lah.. as the NCC ppl laughed backstage as we made funny background noises.. of cuz in accordance to the planned out prog..

well its now only 11am.. so i'll blog more tonight if i have the time...

(10:47 AM)

well first of all...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

ok now back to blogging.. i woke up late this morn.. yea i did and i was like panicking as it was already like 6 when i woke up and i rushed through my morning routine.. literally.. but still managed to reach sch by 7.. phew... lol.. when i got there.. i saw other classes.. jam packed with ppl all armed with plastic bags.. ready to give out the valentine's day gift they had prepared.. den i looked at my own class... empty.. no life.. literally dead.. 4D.. notoriously popular for all the wrong reasons.. now thats really stupid but what the heck..
heres the most amazing part.. TK!! yes TK!! he started giving out choc bicsuits to everyone and sweets too!! i was like totally taken aback!! and kept asking whether he was runnin a fever or smth.. probably thats the reason why he goes home so early everyday.. lol..jk..
now enuf of the days description at school.. i passed my gift to a'in after school.. for obvious reasons.. i mean come on.. i dun wanna have a crowd of ppl looking at me when i pass her the gift during sch hours right.. i mean.. its just doesen feel right.. hahaz.. even so.. there will always be those busy KPOS!! yu heng and KIRAN!! they were like hiding at one corner and when me and a'in exchanged gift they started making all sorts of noises attracting the nball gals in the area.. more "trouble"..lol..
if u thought that was bad.. lol.. well it aint.. karen ainul suggested that the 4 of us go out and get some stuff for miss nawal... so well i agreed with no ill intentions.. little did i know that those 2 will PS us leaving us alone.. i should've known.. those 2..grr..lol.. u ppl will be like thinking good wad.. the 2 of us alone.. yea.. maybe in my heart i was but.. soon after they called to inform us of that matter.. a'in got a call informing her that her uncle has been hospitalized..so in the end.. we all went our seperate ways.. sad..
well.. at least i got 5 gifts in total.. hahaz.. so happy.. wheez.. thanks ALL!!


(9:27 PM)

today is the Racial Harmony day cum Family bonding day.. lets juz call it a bazzar of short yea.. lol..
either ways.. i had or rather dmn air well mostly the 04s had a ball of a time.. making pratas.. yea.. lol.. started work at 9am with yu heng, siva making prata doughs.. ponk, zulraihan, veera and kelvin cooking, louis cheng yuan and me at the cashier doing all the order taking collecting coupons that sorts.. did that for a non stop 3 hours b4 i could finally sit down and rest.. and no.. i did not eat lunch..
in less than 5mins.. i was up again and this time cooking.. all the way till 3pm when we closed shop.. man it really was a long day.. can u imagine.. we finished all the 400+ doughs we had? all sold.. thats really an achievement.. but it really came at a cost.. i ended up watching smelling 400 pratas pass by me during that 6 hours.. and i didn even get to eat it.. lol.. come on man.. im like now sian of the look of prata.. lol..
can u imagine.. when i was taking orders.. our store was so jam packed and orders were just flying at us.. i had to turn back and ask what their orders were a couple of times.. so embaressing lah.. and i seriously pity those who had to wait such a long time for their prata.. as there were just too many orders!! i mean it.. u can order simply 1 plain and wait for 30min b4 u get it.. thats just how long the queue is...
and i broke several promises that day.. promised 4A that i will go their haunted house which i didn.. promised to go to the disco which i also didn.. and a lot more.. for the fact that i was at NCC air store selling AIR PRATA.. lol...

long day... yea.. gotta agree with that.. and to end the day i got great news.. 3 of em actually..

1. DMN NCC AIR... AIR PRATA made the most MONEY IN THE FOOD SECTION
2. THE ONLY CCA TO TAKE SUCH INITIATIVE!!
3. WE ARE GOLD UNIT FOR THE 4th CONSEQUCTIVE YEAR!!!

WE CAME AS A GOLD UNIT AND LEFT AS ONE>> NOW HOW COOL IS THAT!!

(11:07 PM)

today really aint just another stupid day at sch.. where i need to face idiots.. bastards.. irritating ppl[believe me there are loads].. go through boring lessons and the list just goes on and on..
today is different.. not that it means i dun have to go through all of the above mentioned.

first of is the lion dance.. and man i tell you i was ROFLMAO!! o yea did i mention that the concert is totally done by malays and indians.. yea i juz did.. lame.. anyways.. these ppl obviously had no exp at all!!
they were aimlessly going everywhere on the stage.. knocking into each other and best of all.. one of the lions.. was a hunchback, making it look more like a camel lor.. so hilarious..
other performances were just so so or boring.. but the tikit berak..[not sure if i spelt that right] its good.. i mean seriously.. its funny.. literally.. i dun really know how to describe it to you like this though.. so yea so just take my word yea?? hahaz

after sch.. headed down to where the NCC air prata shop would be and helped out there.. well.. by making instant noodles for some people there and also to help taste the prata that were made.. o yea.. also cooked one.. hahaz.. so fun lor..
lazed around there for almost an hour or so.. then all of us went crazy.. we sang the NUMA NUMA song as we played it off a cd.. didn noe how we did it.. but sang it word for word and it is in roman for crying out loud.. lol
and of cuz to complete it.. ponk went nuts and we had our very own crazy horse from dmn air unit... lol.. no stripping of cuz.. hahaz..

afterwhich yu heng and me went up to the gallery to view the collecting of O lvl results.. and man the stress is upon us to do well again.. 99.1% of express students qualified for JC..crap man and 4C'o5 all made it through.. all 43 of em.. siao lor..
we also had 2 ppl who had 8A1s.. nabil and daliah[not sure if i spelt this right either].. not sure how they did it.. but it sure is amazing.. esp when nabil had 8A1s and 1A2.. siao lor..
then went down and started asking all whom i knew their results.. all were so good lah.. aqil 11points.. marwin kenneth 10points..shar 17points..zulhilmi 14points.. sia lah..

but not all did well though.. i really pity hui yu.. she did so well in all her other subjects except the critical on.. sorry girl.. go to a good poly cse and enter the University from there kz? u have my fullest support..

well thats enuough excitement for one day..

(7:34 PM)

as the minutes tick by.. i know that i am juz that much closer from stepping down from my position as Aero Head of DMN AIR GOLD UNIT... the unit has always been my glory and sense of pride.. and now as i 1SG Kenneth Yau hands over my position to my successor..[no names now] u will know it on 18feb.. whoever this person is.. i hope that u take this reponsibility into your stide and do all you can to take this dept to the next level and win the upcoming air competition and flex dmn air's aero muscle and show to CPT Gary Pek and CPT Victor that we can do it...

even as i say these words.. i had only juz received my 1SG rank together with kelvin on wed... after a month knowing that i had attained this rank and approved by hq.. y it took so long to get to my hands? i dun know and it really does not matter now.. i will adorn this new rank of mine to my last training as aero head on sat... but it will feel kinda weird when me and kelvin put on the uniform bearing the 1SG rank as we will be the only 2 wearing it.. nevertheless.. it will feel good to finally add a stripe to my rank after 7long months.. and for kelvin 2 stripes after lemme see.. 10months? wow..now that really is a long time.. hahaz.. i mean who cares.. total defence days appraoches and we are the official 1SG of dmn air unit approved by hq.. now that really is smth to be proud of.. but i really feel sorry for yu heng and tk when they get their MSG rank in march.. i mean.. how many times are they gonna wear that rank? once? twice? really pity them.. hahaz..

now as valentine's day draws near.. i am still wondering how am i gonna pass the gift to her...dsaf

(8:07 PM)

9feb2006

sometimes it really hits me.. do people understand the way i think? the way i feel? the way i prefer to get things done? my way of doing stuff? or simply understand me as a whole.. maybe one or 2 but i doubt my parents know it..
recently i lost my calculator... and i seriously suspect someone stole it for some sick reason which i do not intend to dwell into it.. either ways i bought a new one and told my parents about this incident.. naturally they were furious that i lost my calculator and spent $20 to get a new one.. i mean who will not.. then they threw this statement at me.. we as your parents seem to be more upset over this matter then you do.. it really hits me.. they feel more upset over it? do they even know how bad i feel to lose that calculator that i had more 3 years? do they even know it? just because i do not express it on the outside it means i do not feel any sense of remourse what so ever?? does it really work that way?
i have been their son for close to 16 years and yet they do not know how i express myself? do they not know i am the kind who do not express my inner feelings in public? as hardy i may appear on the outside.. as sociable i may be.. do they not know the feelings i have locked deep within my heart? the hurt i feel in the lowest levels of my heart?? the feelings that i locked away somewhere in my heart never wanting to feel that way again? do they not know that?? i am seriously disappointed in them right now..
after pondering over this.. i turn to my next point? do my friends know how much hurt they cause me when they play those pranks? not know how much it hurts me to see people make fun of my surname? i would have taken out a knife and stabbed that person if i had my way.. and for your info.. i carry a swiss knife everywhere i go.. i just dun use it often... it has been weeks now since that incident which caused some people to be filled with hatred towards me.. 3 of them in fact.. no names now but at least i know 2 of them have moved on.. leaving only one to bear that grudge towards me, as if it is my fault that they got into trouble.. then let me get it straight... it never was my fault never is never will.. choices have consequences and apparently u have chosen the one which beared "drastic" ones.. and now that u have fallen into it.. u blame me? for what? doing whats right? r u sure? i dunno abt you but i sincerely hope u change for the better..for your own good.. not for me or others but for yourself... please knock some sense into your head and change.. dun persue those childish thoughts u harbor in your head.. even if u think its just out of fun u take ppl wallets to see.. do u not know how much insecurity we feel? when u play a simple prank.. do u not know the hurt we feel though we do not express it? please do some soulsearching yea?

(2:13 PM)

sometimes it really hits me.. do people understand the way i think? the way i feel? the way i prefer to get things done? my way of doing stuff? or simply understand me as a whole.. maybe one or 2 but i doubt my parents know it..recently i lost my calculator... and i seriously suspect someone stole it for some sick reason which i do not intend to dwell into it.. either ways i bought a new one and told my parents about this incident.. naturally they were furious that i lost my calculator and spent $20 to get a new one.. i mean who will not.. then they threw this statement at me.. we as your parents seem to be more upset over this matter then you do.. it really hits me.. they feel more upset over it?
do they even know how bad i feel to lose that calculator that i had more 3 years? do they even know it? just because i do not express it on the outside it means i do not feel any sense of remourse what so ever?? does it really work that way?i have been their son for close to 16 years and yet they do not know how i express myself? do they not know i am the kind who do not express my inner feelings in public? as hardy i may appear on the outside.. as sociable i may be.. do they not know the feelings i have locked deep within my heart? the hurt i feel in the lowest levels of my heart?? the feelings that i locked away somewhere in my heart never wanting to feel that way again? do they not know that?? i am seriously disappointed in them right now..

after pondering over this.. i turn to my next point? do my friends know how much hurt they cause me when they play those pranks? not know how much it hurts me to see people make fun of my surname? i would have taken out a knife and stabbed that person if i had my way.. and for your info.. i carry a swiss knife everywhere i go.. i just dun use it often... it has been weeks now since that incident which caused some people to be filled with hatred towards me.. 3 of them in fact.. no names now but at least i know 2 of them have moved on.. leaving only one to bear that grudge towards me, as if it is my fault that they got into trouble.. then let me get it straight...
it never was my fault never is never will.. choices have consequences and apparently u have chosen the one which beared "drastic" ones.. and now that u have fallen into it.. u blame me? for what? doing whats right? r u sure? i dunno abt you but i sincerely hope u change for the better..for your own good.. not for me or others but for yourself...
please knock some sense into your head and change.. dun persue those childish thoughts u harbor in your head.. even if u think its just out of fun u take ppl wallets to see.. do u not know how much insecurity we feel? when u play a simple prank.. do u not know the hurt we feel though we do not express it? please do some soulsearching yea?

(10:33 PM)

i have been holding back this thought of writing this entry on my blog.. but really.. its kinda gettin out of hand.. read my tag board and u will understand exactly wad i mean..

i totally despise those who tag that post.. i mean.. yes there will most definitely ppl who hate you.. and would try all means to intimidate you to the extreme.. yup.. thats life and i accept that fact.. BUT.. i do not believe that there are those who hate me.. but do not have the courage to come up face to face with me and insult me right in the face!! instead.. they put on a different personality and insult me via means of the internet.. only one words describes these people.. cowards.. wouldn't you agree more?

well maybe i will juz post wad those cowards posted on my tagboard..

Cornek:
Bastard u tink u very kiang is it? U think u very zai is it. Half the ppl u noe hate u n u dun even noe it. Thick skinned bugga. Poser. I've never seen someone so ugly yet takes pics of himself.
Cornek:
If u r ugly and u noe it then never mind...U still go take photo of yaself and post it somemore on ya blog. I tell u if i have a chance to meet u i will whack ur stupid face. Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck
Cornek:
U get urself a girlfriend first then say keep saying on ya blog.U blind to world. Read ur blog once can tell u very proud but stupid. Stupid that u dun even noe anything ppl will think about u.Loser

let me analyze wad this guy said.. "half the ppl i noe hate me".. then i put this qns back right at you.. do u even noe the people i know and mixed around with?? do you even know them personally? or r u writing that comment juz becuz u love to exaggerate the "facts" u know..
"I've never seen someone so ugly yet takes pics of himself." u can call me ugly.. say that i have a big nose for all i care.. but whats wrong with me taking pictures of myself.. im sure u do? r u saying that u have the freedom to do so and i dun? the lord's cr8tion are flawless.. r u saying that there is a flaw in me?
" I tell u if i have a chance to meet u i will whack ur stupid face." then i tell you this.. BRING IT.. then at least i will know that u aint the coward i think u r.. or of cuz.. u r too timid to do so..

Puki:
You ugly fag. You seem very lonely all the time. I'm not suprised. I doubt you have any friends in school. Do you?
Puki:
Tell you what, if you have a problem finding friends, go get langahed by a truck, it will make you more handsome, seriously

"You seem very lonely all the time. I'm not suprised. I doubt you have any friends in school." Lonely? nope i aint.. juz contemplating on things that go on in my life and trying to use the right solution towards it.. and abt me having no friends?? wow.. r u sure? i admit that i have no close friends in 4D itself.. but i have loads in 4abc... so seriously.. do ur research will ya?
"Tell you what, if you have a problem finding friends, go get langahed by a truck, it will make you more handsome, seriously" get knocked down by a lorry will make me nicer? maybe if i was that despo i would.. but i aint and am happy with my physical features.. for it is a combination of my parents DNA.. and am a cr8tion of GOD.. therefore i am flawless.. and seriously.. looks have absolutely nth to do with getting along with friends.. its juz an extra advantage..

bastard:
eh,ur ugly.get it.bhb kia. u think u so damned handsome u ugly piece of crap poser mofo go get a life u loser.don think anyone that ugly can think he is handsome and take photos of himself and write blogs which sound so girlish..

hmm.. does it really matter how i like to make my blog?? for ur info.. a blog is an online journal which all who uses it have the freedom to wad he or she wants with it.. incl putting up pictures.. and abt my entries being girlish.. hmm.. i dunno abt that.. y dun we let the public decide on that shall we?? then we can clear ur doubts abt my writing style..

of cuz... if my guess was correct.. this would be the work of 1 or at the most 2 ppl.. who dislikes me and would exaggerate every little piece of info which whether true or false dosen matter as long they think it will intimidate me to an extent.. well.. i am sad to tell you that u have failed..
so do a lil soul searching will ya?? and conc on ur studies rather then doing this lame crap.. and of cuz abt my blog.. start one then and prove to me that urs can be better then mine.. if not.. hush..

(9:41 PM)

31jan'06
G's bdae.. was a smash!! we first celeb it at yu heng's place.. and i tell you.. his mother cookin is the best!!! so delicious!! and thats not the best part yet.. we had SAKE!! o yea!! SAKE!! wo0t.. cant get any better man.. had so much fun merrying and.. of cuz.. bdae bash of G.. hahaz.. so fun man..

next day.. went to seoul garden to once again celeb his bdae.. yup.. seoul garden.. the best part.. G didn noe we brought absolute volka..[40% alcohol content].. really.. the first thing we did when we sat down was to fill up G's cup with ard 80% of it with volka.. wo0t.. den added peach tea.. and he fell for it!! yea!!.. next thing we did.. well actually.. many things.. lol.. we spiked everything he will touch.. the soup.. his rice.. chopstick.. chicken.. beef.. EVERYTHING!! incl his ice cream.. lol!!

putting that aside.. all of us went hyper and did really stupid stuff.. really..



first we made ice cream.. LITERALLY...



den we used chopstick to eat ice cream.. lol!!


can we get any more siao den that.. hahaz.. unfortunately.. G didn get drunk.. sad.. lol... either ways.. happy bdae G..

(10:00 PM)

CNY...

i know its kinda late.. but.. better late then nv right..hahaz.. either ways.. CNY was FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN.. GAMBLING>> FUN FUN FUN..

hahaz. ok.. im going siao already... i mean who can help it.. angbao collect so much.. this year dunno y so much.. lol..

usual practice.. went over to all my relatives houses.. slack there.. while waiting for parents to finish socializing..and sorts.. but the best was my cous new house.. i mean its totally.. ZEN and Jap!! its so COOL!! i wan their house man.. and really.. u muz see it to believe it.. its like stepping into a japanese house!!

second best part of CNY?? gambling of cuz.. and i got blackjack 3 times in a row!! 2 of which was double aces!!! how lucky can i get.. omg... lol.. either ways.. nth much to update already.. lol..

(9:55 PM)