Final Sprint

such was the title of today's presentation by Singapore's own Dr William Tan... in case you have not heard of him.. which is highly unlikely unless of course you are on of those minority who never opened a newspaper before.. Dr William Tan is the wheelchair bound ultra/marathoner who has accomplished a feat of 10Marathons in 65days across 7continents.. yes including antartica..
walking into the hall.. i was greeted by the sight of our special guest today whom was going to talk about a particular subject...i peered at him as i entered the already crowded hall.. he seemed familiar as if i had seen him or read about him somewhere.. the projector screen came on and the name.. Dr William Tan.. it struck me.. initially was the extremely long list of degress.. masters.. PhD.. honours.. BUT.. it was that name.. could he be? that was the thought which ran through my mind..
Final Sprint.. what is it all about.. if i were to summarize in a short sentence.. it would be the motivational talk which has unleashed the potential locked up in me, pushing me to achieve and score for my prelims.. but.. it would be a little too late espcially with Prelims commencing on 28August.. which is 3days from now.. i do not expect myself to score superbly well.. but at least achive an A.. some Bs.. and Max 2Cs.. that would be wonderful.. but scoring less than 15points.. would be simply magnificent..
now.. back to the topic.. the ancronymn ABCDE.. what do they stand for?

A- Attitude
B- Big Goals
C- Create Action Plan
D- Determination
E- Eureka

as he narrated his life story and explained the significance of each letter.. i was mesmerized at the way he conveys his message across.. his powerpoint presentation was made up of merely pictures and minimal words.. yet he was able to elaborate so much with the little resources he had.. with such professionalism.. i could not sense a bit of nervousness in his tone.. for once.. the hall was silent as every ear listened intently to what Dr William had to say.. captivated by the video compiled to show his Amazing Feat.. and how he managed to beat the previous world record holder.. Tim Rogers[UK] who completed 7 Marathons 7 continents in 99days back in 1999..


Dr William Tan before reaching the Artic


In action

after his inspirational talk.. i ambled down to the atrium and purchased one of his book.. and he personally autographed it.. it may have cost me a whooping $30.. but it truly was worth it.. to be signed by a Great Son of Singapore..
His Book entitled.. " No Journey TOO TOUGH"

(3:19 PM)

A series of tests

Friday, August 18, 2006

sitting at the corner of the hall in group 170 as indicated by the sitting arrangement given to us.. i maintained a calm composure.. taking out my physics to read in preperation for the mock exam the next day.. my friends around me were either frantically reading through oral notes or asking me what were they to do during oral later.. i recall being asked the question if i felt any stress at all awaiting my turn to come.. i simply replied no.. but.. that was only a facade i put on in the midst of the stress and anxiety i felt within me.. i should say it was a way of boosting my confidence but that very facade shatters as soon as i was the only one remaining..
thoughts raced through my mind.. the memory of attaining a mere 30 for my prelim oral haunts me for i have always been capable of doing better.. it didn't matter if the examiners were strict or not.. it was the way i answered i guessed.. or the suspision my prelim examiner had on me.. Nevertheless.. what i felt now was the same i did during the Chinese O lvl oral.. if i was able to overcome that and improve from my mid year PASS and score a MERIT in O lvls.. i do not see any reason that i would do as badly as i had for my prelims.. yes.. 30/40 though a distinction is a bad mark.. i always had high expectations of myself for English oral since primary school espcially after the day my Primary 5 teacher informed me that i aced the final year exam with a perfect score.. i still find it hard to believe even till today.. but i guessed that boosted my self-esteem and confidence..

For some reasons.. i had been experiencing mental blocks these days.. and it had to happen during the most dire times.. mock exams.. i had Phy and Chem yesterday and Bio today.. all i suffered from mental block.. a sign that i had been studying too much? i doubt.. too little? out of the question.. a sign that i need to put in more effort and try not to panic during exams? definitely.. is my animus towards studying virtual? or is it real.. is it truly driven my grades or to prove myself.. or simply to go through the motion.. am i bluffing myself that i will be able to score good enough to enter TJC? are my long concentration spans now a way of atoning for the long hours i spent daydreaming of the ideal life.. a world of my dreams.. so much that i bemoan the gap that seperates me from reality..
i have bleakness of impressions as to what i am doing.. i am questioning my purpose of existance on this world.. i am questioning myself as to why am i dooming myself in so many ways..questioning whether my friends are really there when i need them or are they just faking the friendship i hold so dear with them.. are these all true? or are these feelings simply an illusion created by the greatest of them.. the brain.. is there truly a need to think the way i am now? in a way that i am condemning myself and not facing reality?
my mind's organisation is simply in a chaotic mess.. i am unable to comprehend even the simplest meaning of life.. i feel nonchalent in almost everything i do and undertake.. sigh

i guess thats just a scenario of what happens when your world crumbles down on you.. and i will not succumb to that fate.. even if it was destiny that i will have to go through that phase.. i will do everything in my power to avert and avoid it.. for now.. its onwards to prelims.. and FIRST 3 MONTHS..

(9:34 PM)

Truth Is

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Truth is, our entire lives subsist in one moment.
Someday that moment will be at its close and you'll be looking back,
instead of moving forward.
Life is SO terribly short.
Its not worth going crazy over small things,
only do what you love.
Everything else,
unless its a path leading to that love is completely worthless.
Never let anything distract you from your dreams,
it can only end in disaster.

(9:24 PM)

O level Chinese Results

Friday, August 11, 2006

the moment i had waited all day with much nervousness had finally arrived.. Ms Si.. marched into the class, her hand holding a list of paper which i know will either spurr me on or simply drop me to rock bottom.. there was however.. something to her facial expression that did not seem right at all.. the expression which i found extremely familiar; a long face with disappointment and heartbrokeness embeded on it.. she stared at us and we stared back.. there was a moment of eerie silence.. i could hear my heart beating wildly as Ms Si stood up and drew on the whiteboard a box.. with all the possible grades from A1 to F9..
she reprimanded us for our arrogance and prideful attitide towards the subject, scoling us that we think we can still achieve the best with minimal effort.. my train of thoughts ran wild.. did we do badly? did we fair below her expectations way below? she wrote down B3-11 B4-6 C5-8 D7-0 E8-0.. we heaved a huge sigh of relief but there were still 16 more ppl who were yet to placed in their respective groups.. she hovered about the Distinction box.. her frown transformed into a bright smile and wrote 14!! the class erupted with cheers and shouting of victory.. then she mentioned Jeannette and Rhys asking where they think they belong to.. the C6 or F9 category.. we were all taken aback..
F9-0 C6-2.. another round of cries filled the classroom.. the atmosphere liven up and a great amount of anxiety was taken away from within us.. this was certainly Deja Vu, it reminded me of the time when i was attending the SANA course at Singapore Poly.. the time when the intructor released the results of our final test.. using the very same tactic as mentioned above.. or rather.. similar to it..
she read out our names individually.. in register number.. something which i always hated..i had to endure the feeling of anxiety once more and it sat on my heart with added weight..my heart palpitated as my name was called.. Lih Ren.. Oral Merit.. Overall B4.. i didnt react immediately.. time froze.. i swore a cacophony of voices was trying to tell me what had just happened.. whether i should be happy or sad about it..eventually i slumped my head onto the table and just shouted silently.. my mind was in a wreck... my emotions caught in a turmoil of chaos.. ensure of how to react to this result.. but everything is cleared up now.. i will retake the exam once more at the end of the year.. and i will attain at least a B3.. whichever the case.. PRAISE THE LORD FOR THIS RESULT!! did i mention i have always been a C or D student for chinese? well thats the past now.. YEAH!

(7:32 PM)

Conclusion to my career.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

National Day eve has come and gone.. the last day whereby i don on my uniform has slipped by.. abmbling to my specialist mess.. i was greeted by my juniors who instantaneously greeted me good morning sgt.. putting down my bag.. i stroded out.. and took command of a flight for the final time. the feeling of authority would be the last for me in my secondary school NCC career.. the observance ceremony soon commenced.. me and my fellow 04s specialist stood at attention as the flag party marched by us.. saluating it. the flag was raised and i felt patriotism racing through my blood giving me an unusual sense of warmth within me.. adjourning to the hall where we were seated in anticipation of receiving our prize.. [ Outstanding Leadership and Dedication to NCC Air ]


my award

one final check on my attire and i stepped onto the stage to collect my prize from the Guest Of Honour.. to the appluase of the audience in the hall.. im am not so sure abt what happened in the canteen where the upper sec are seated but that does not matter.. at least i know i am well received amonst the lower sec whom i have interacted the past 2 years.. as a FA in the sec1 orientation camp or any other ways..
celebration was over and came the Moment.. the time when the unit is officially handed down to my 03s.. the one's whom we have painstakenly groomed to what they are today.



Dunman Air..




the proceedings..


2SG Yeo De Hong.. USM Dunman Air Unit 2007

4years have flown by since i enlisted into this unit.. of which has maintained GOLD since my arrival.. one more year before receiving the Sustained Achievement award.. and so.. the following pictures are of my badges and awards.



my Badges and beret


My Orienteering Gold Medals.. [top=NCC annual||bottom=Dunman NCC{land+air}]

CCA Award. please refer to above picture.. [ 1st one ]

it is amazing how much i have achived during my short stay in NCC.. and it truly has been a magnificent one..

(5:14 PM)

indescribable feelings.

Monday, August 07, 2006

National Day eve draws near.. the one last time i will be able to don on my coveted NO3 uniform.. the one uniform that carries with it a weight of burden,responsibility,pain,joy,memories,character and most of all the Pride of being a NCC cadet.. An Air Cadet and most importantly Part Of Dunman Air.. as i polished my boots just barely 10mins ago. i looked at the cloth and kiwi i was using.. it was the 3rd cloth i used in 4years and the kiwi.. i have absolutely no idea how many i have used already.. its been that many a time i have polished my boots.. even so i look at my shoe now.. shinning under the florescant light as i grin at my reflection.. this is the work of so many years of polishing.. layer after layer of kiwi polish coupled with fingers covered in black residue.
Flipping the virtual book of my NCC career, i remember a time when i was in sec1.. feeling no sense of belonging, pride nor purpose in the unit.. contemplating whether to join Badminton instead and drop all i had in NCC.. including the little points i accumilated during my short stay.. i admit i was a weakling then, one who was unable to endure the harsh trainings and drills.. one who found drills dumb and always criticized why we had to do this.. what brought me back? i myself am not sure but i do remember talking with yu heng if i recall correctly abt this decision i was about to make.. he too was indecisive in his view but he replied sayin something abt its my life so i should make the decision.. i continued with NCC air.. and the following year though made more enemies then allies.. i proved my worth and went on to participate in several activities.. including the annual NCC orienteering competition.. where we emerged champions.. AeroModelling soon became a passion to which eventually led to be being Aero Head the following year and led a team to the Air Competion.. though no prizes was won.. it was an unbelivable experience.. before that.. we went to Mount Ophir.. dont think many of you knew this.. but i wasn't initially selected for this expedition but rather for the Annual Kayaking Expedition.. unfortunately.. due to unforseen circumstances.. i came down with chicken pox.. which rendered me unable to attend the trail selection.. leading to my automatic disqualification.. call it a miracle or something but i was soon given a slot in the Mount Ophir Expedition..
many jovial moments were spent there..


roomates


Base Camp[ at the lake ]


enroute to summit


at the summit[P.S. not bird watching as said in the school magazine]

then came spec cse where i had a blast.. not because i was placed in the same platoon with all my best NCC pals.. but that i made so many new friends and came out as a 2SG..



RSAF NCC BADGE..

Speech Day soon arrived and we marched in as GOH..

Marching In..

Marched In..

Not everything is related to NCC of cuz..


Siva at Merry Brown with us after SSAB attachment

then came the NCC camp in 2006..[the last for me]


Dunman Air 2006

now as i pin on my badges and typing this entry at the same time.. i cannot seem to face reality that my career is soon ending.. but i will go for CLT course and come back to lead Dmn.. if time permits me to do so..

(9:02 PM)

down and out..

Sunday, August 06, 2006

standing in the Train.. i leaned my head against the cold window.. the torrential downpour battered the ground below as winds formed mist of rain which clouded the landscape, declining visibility to the beautiful landscape which offers solace to me.. the past week has been rather demoralising, not only because of the slanderous remarks posted on my tagboard.. forcing me to switch to one which offers better function, sacrificing the beautiful layout flooble had to offer.. the weather had been getting on to me, the lack of sleep seems to be taking a toll on me as i slept till 11 today.. a long 12hours sleep.. something i never accomplished before... probably due to the late nights i spent pouring through my books..
Even so.. i refuse to bow down to these trivial matters for life has several more important event installed for me..
Putting that aside.. Our Nation's Bdae is coming.. its 41st birthday.. celebrated for the last time at the national stadium with the theme.. Our Global City, Our Home.

This year's logo embraces our theme "Our Global City, Our Home". It depicts a globe with the little red island of Singapore as its focal point. Despite our small size, our island is widely recognized for its thriving economy, its connectivity to the world and its emerging role on the international stage.

The use of multi-coloured brushstrokes demonstrates our vibrancy as a nation. The merging of the different colours into one icon connotes our unity and harmony as a multi-racial and multi-religious society. The treatment of the brushstrokes gives the logo an Asian feel. It denotes that while Singapore is evolving into a global city, we do not forget our roots and Asian values.

The futuristic black font shows our boldness and that we are forward looking in shaping our future as a nation.

this is as quoted from the official NDP website..http://www.ndp.org.sg/

it truly is a pity the national stadium will have to be demolished after celebrating NDP for 30years now.. sigh..

(7:27 PM)

Baseless Crticism

Friday, August 04, 2006

i am sure all of you are aware of the recent events plauging my blog.. the Baseless Criticism i would call it.. desecrating my humble blog.. claiming that my blog is written by some professor i hired.. is "anonymous69" claiming only a professor is able to write this standard? if that is so.. then my english teachers muz be the founders of the english language.. is he implying that he is unable to write this standard of english? that he is going to face the upcoming O levels with his pitiful command of the English Language which our British Colonial Masters introduced to us as the universal tongue? if that is so.. then all i can do for him is pray that he bucks up and scores well for his O levels.. no matter how bad he thinks of me.. i do not wish to see him retake the O levels and waste another year of his youth..
He claims that my Page Views Count is being boosted by his repeated refreshing of the page.. claiming that he has done so 300times already.. but a simple check of my stat counter that only slightly more than a tenth of that number viewed my blog.. and slightly more the day before.. with MULTIPLE visitors.. wad does that prove? he is simply asserting and wanting to make me "lose face".. a futile attempt is must say.. then me expressing my view on Divers in soccer.. the beautiful game many call it.. marred by unsportsmanship like behaviour... FIFA is clamming down on these players.. and here is "anonymous69" supporting this form of playing..
i absolutely dispise and abhor those who do not have the courage or rather the "balls" in their lingo to face me.. are they scared to face it like a men that they have to use cyberspace to mask their existance in this world? using the name anonmynous69.. sigh.. a man without a name is as good as one with no purpose in life.. a man who impersonates or hides behind another name is as good as one who is not proud of his name.. one who is afraid to face the realities of life.. one who is a coward.. who is an empty vessel.. "empty vessels make the most noise".. how true is this..
i suppose he will argue back saying why i use Forgotten Legacy then on my tagbox.. its clearly stated in my msn nick that i use this call-sign.. it is understood that Forgotten Legacy is indeed Kenneth Yau.. the one who will stand his ground against all these worthless remarks.. these baseless criticism..
it has also come to my realisation that his intent is plainly to inveigh against me.. despite having insufficient or rather no evidence to prove his stand.. no one to back his view.. to back his cause.. he is a one man army.. easily cornered and defeated..
i pray to God that this nonsence will stop.. its doing neither of us good.. anonymous69 is gaining momentary sadistic satisfaction of criticising me.. and here i am tryin to cast it out of my mind for it is nothing more than a piece of CRAP..
sigh.. God.. help us..

(8:17 PM)

Unable to Comprehend

Thursday, August 03, 2006

sitting at the corner of my classroom, i peered out of the window, staring at the children from the nearby kindergarden as they ran amok around the fitness corner, utilizing every available object to add joy and laughter to their short existance.. down there.. was the smell of freedom.. one that i will not taste in 100+ days.. even now.. i am cooped up here as the EL prelim oral went about.. one by one my classmates left.. marching off.. ready to face what laid before them.. i painted a face full of confidence, engaged in conversation without showing any signs of stress.. as Eunice left the vicinity, leaving me alone in the waiting room.. my heart palpitated wildly.. beads of sweat trickled down my face.. the radiant light suddenly died out as the clouds intercepted its trajectory.. preventing most of it from passing the thick layer of water vapour..
this i assume just proves that i too have weaknesses.. what i have come to realise would be my Pride.. which is ironically my strength as well.. during dire times.. i stood firm and faced the obstacles which laid before me.. made decisions that would make me or destroy me.. all because i have an overwhelming amout of Pride within me. in reality.. the bigger your land.. the less easily it is defended from a foreign attack, the harder it is to repel the enemy as your defence is spread thin across the borders.. this is true to me.. my Pride.. is my weakness.. it is easily hurt i admit.. but with every blow.. a new layer forms over it.. thickening the barrier.. making it harder for others who are bent on attacking me to enrage me.. for it is is my resolution to keep my cool this year.. to avoid unnecessary conflicts with the imbeciles whom dot the maps of my life.. and for that.. i will control the rage that is contained within me, like a barrel of hydrogen.. whereby the slightest spark will ignite it.. causing me to explode.. but the barrier i have formed around it.. will prevent no such thing from happening..
a message to those who have been trying to provoke me.. i very well know who you bovine fecal are.. silence does not mean anything.. not in this world nor the next.. u can continue your cowardly methods.. but ultimately i will be triumphant.. for i have the will.. and i will never lose this mind game with you..

(5:15 PM)