sitting at the corner of my classroom, i peered out of the window, staring at the children from the nearby kindergarden as they ran amok around the fitness corner, utilizing every available object to add joy and laughter to their short existance.. down there.. was the smell of freedom.. one that i will not taste in 100+ days.. even now.. i am cooped up here as the EL prelim oral went about.. one by one my classmates left.. marching off.. ready to face what laid before them.. i painted a face full of confidence, engaged in conversation without showing any signs of stress.. as Eunice left the vicinity, leaving me alone in the waiting room.. my heart palpitated wildly.. beads of sweat trickled down my face.. the radiant light suddenly died out as the clouds intercepted its trajectory.. preventing most of it from passing the thick layer of water vapour..
this i assume just proves that i too have weaknesses.. what i have come to realise would be my Pride.. which is ironically my strength as well.. during dire times.. i stood firm and faced the obstacles which laid before me.. made decisions that would make me or destroy me.. all because i have an overwhelming amout of Pride within me. in reality.. the bigger your land.. the less easily it is defended from a foreign attack, the harder it is to repel the enemy as your defence is spread thin across the borders.. this is true to me.. my Pride.. is my weakness.. it is easily hurt i admit.. but with every blow.. a new layer forms over it.. thickening the barrier.. making it harder for others who are bent on attacking me to enrage me.. for it is is my resolution to keep my cool this year.. to avoid unnecessary conflicts with the imbeciles whom dot the maps of my life.. and for that.. i will control the rage that is contained within me, like a barrel of hydrogen.. whereby the slightest spark will ignite it.. causing me to explode.. but the barrier i have formed around it.. will prevent no such thing from happening..
a message to those who have been trying to provoke me.. i very well know who you bovine fecal are.. silence does not mean anything.. not in this world nor the next.. u can continue your cowardly methods.. but ultimately i will be triumphant.. for i have the will.. and i will never lose this mind game with you..



(5:15 PM)