something just seem to make me reminisce the past.. im not exactly sure what.. but mainly i thought abt the past 2 years.. the 2 years that would unltimately decide my fate during the Os this year..
have i always been a "jerk"? i mean standing to my principles.. my morals... is it wrong to stand by them? so wrong to the extent that i have to endure the torment and mockery from the "victims".. is it wrong? wrong to "pao tou" those who im sure knew what they were doing was wrong.. those who are just bent on breakin the rules probably living by the motto rules are meant to be broken? what is it that has made a change in most ppl i know.. and i mean for the worst.. i remember a person who once brought me back to the faith.. emphasizing on the moral conducts of christians but all i see of him now is scraps of that person.. what is it that caused this change? my sec 3 class was not as noisy as it is today.. we were constantly reprimanded cuz of our poor performance.. now we are cuz we are simply too noisy..and noisy cuz of a selected group of ppl. does it make any sense? i dont get it..
den again.. what has caused the change in me? what caused me to bring out what i believe in so strongly this year? have i been hardened by the harsh reality of life? has my heart formed a protective layer to fend off any insults which i take almost like a weekly affair? have i become more introvert to an extent? i am not sure.. but one thing i can be sure of is that the driving force behind me will never forsake me..
my friends whom i have known since sec1 seem to be the most understanding of those i have known.. im not sure as to why.. but does it matter? but it truly is disheartening to see your friends torn between each other over petty reasons.. no names here..
i really do not wish to dwell on this any longer.. furthermore.. i have to prepare for the BBQ i am hosting for my IMCB friends.. yup.. we are having a reunion after a short 5months.. =P.. better still.. its held at my place.. o yea!!

(3:52 PM)