my 101th post on this blog of mine... since November of last year.. its been that many a post..hard to imagine i actually spent so much time blogging..lol..

ok thats besides the point right now.. so the results have come back.. the marks finalised.. as heres my result.. [ drum roll in BG ]

1. English 59.4 -----> C5
2. Chinese 57.0-----> C5
3. Emath 63.0 -----> B4
4. Amath 60.0-----> B4
5. Biology 67.1-----> B3
6. Phy/Chem 65.7-> B3
7. SS/Geog 46-----> D7

in total my L1R5=26 L1R4=19
totally unsatisfactory.. esp when my marks were all pulled down due to me.. writing out of point or the classic no link.. both my language were capable of getting a B4 and a B3 for english for the matter.. i failed my chinese compo with a devastating 22/50 cause i went out of point or rather focused on the wrong issue.. haiz.. english also went out of point but managed to attain 18/30.. not bad you would say.. i asked what would the likely i will score if i hadn't went out of point.. the answer.. 25/30.. my heart sank.. the proposal yet another blow..15/30 as i wrote in the summary instead of a comparison format.. my Hummanities.. i have not expected such red marks.. my common test was a satisfying A2... but now it has dropped 5grades.. too much of a blow to me.. as i received the papers one by one.. my eyes were shocked to see such marks.. i recall slamming my fist onto the floor when i saw sectionA of my geog.. obviously it caught some people's attention.. esp shiffa as she sat just beside me.. she tried to calm me down and consoled me sayin that many others failed just as i did.. but does that really matter? who cares if others failed.. it only serves to make u feel better nothing else.. the fact still remains that i have a red mark in my report card.. the battle i fight is against my biggest enemy.. not my friends but myself.. seeing a drop of 5 grades means i have been thrashed by a kenneth of 3months earlier.. one whom performed much better than he did now..
sharing my results with my parents not long ago was met with much nagging.. my father asking me to lower my expectations of entering another JC instead of TJC.. is he NUTS? trying to belittle me so early in the year.. asking me to lower down my expectations? that is the one thing i will not do.. not is this lifetime.. lowering my expectations is as good as resigning to the fact that i am incapable of entering that school and attaining that L1R5 score for that matter.. not trying to belittle me..who is he tryin to kid.. i am still a good 5months before the practical exams starts... and definitely not too late to push forward.. is he really convinced that i cannot attain such marks? is he going to be happy that i attain something below my expectations? is he trying to say that i should score as high as he did?[his was 16] lemme see.. that wont get me anywhere.. except maybe to yishun JC? not bad since the top A lvl student studied there.. this is not acceptable and i will not allow myself to resign to such a fate.. not in my life.. not in my afterlife.. not in my reincarnated self.. NEVER..

(7:24 PM)