damn... the results are already punishing enough for me.. not a single A but 2 B4, 2 C6, 1 C5, 2 D7 and 1 F9.. can it seriously get any worse? i was filled with optimism as i headed home today... knowing that i should put it aside and move on.. concentrating on what lies ahead..
then my dad had to come in.. he demanded my results... he already knew i had a F9 so telling him i failed 2 more.. sigh.. i recall him telling me to leave wadeva results i will get behind and move on.. well well well.. he asked me to calulate my L1R5.. OF CUZ ITS SUPER BIG.. DUH.. then he pointed towards the ITE.. at that point i was completely pissed with him.. b4 that i was so motivated to study and was working hard on my mindmaps.. den he called and asked y i didn come down to greet him.. lets evaluate.. i was in my room.. studying.. music in the background.. second floor.. closed door.. u expect me to know u are BACK?? yea right.. scolded me for turning off HP.. i am in the house.. CALL THE HOUSE PHONE LAH.. people dun wan to be distracted wad.. is that a bad excuse?? apparently it is to him.. sigh..
either ways.. i came back up and contd with my stuff.. completely demoralised only the promise of going back to church with good results kept me going.. then he barged in and said i may not even be able to go into ITE.. I WAS FURIOUS!!
DAMN IT!! SOMEONE IS TRYING TO STUDY FOR HIS Os AND THERE U ARE DEMORALISING HIM WITH ALL THIS NONSENSE!! and tat moment.. i was really pissed.. after he left i threw punches at the wall.. my knuckles nearly bled.. it was completely red and burst capilaries was visable.. sigh.. i didn even bother to greet my mum after that though i knew she returned.. my bro then asked me to come out to celeb my dad's bdae which was ytd..
i den reflected.. y should i? all this while... throughout my education.. u r there for me yea.. of cuz u were.. to criticize everything i do... every single DAMN thing.. even my CCA.. wad in the world is wrong with you? DUN GO FOR YOUR CCA!![i was suppose to attend smth in PLAB] i kindly explained that it will affect my unit's status if i didn go.. he said NVM.. it was my last year so dun care.. DUN CARE??!!! WTF..
thankfully.. i have my mum.. shes the only one who seems to know my way of thinking and how to approach me.. sigh.. if only dad could be half as good..
meet the parents this friday.. i am so gonna be slaughtered.. sigh.. i wonder what are they gonna ask my teachers.. sigh.. probably some of my chers will highlight some positive things about me.. some tat my dad does not know but my mum does.. sigh.. is he even my dad?? he dosen even know me to begin with.. after 16years.. sigh..
hes biggest flaw?? he comes down hard on me everytime.. my way?? u come down hard on me.. i react harder with more force.. [talking back, proving my point, u get e pic] sigh.. 16years.. damn someone should give him a lesson on the way i do things.. not only me.. but also how my bro does his.. my dad.. how can i phrase it..i dunno.. and i dont think i wanna put it here either ways.. its too well.. strong a word..

(10:24 PM)