i've never felt so much in a delimma before.. my mind is so messed up... with commitments towards both the sec1 camp and NCC itself.. within NCC there is tk.. who always seems to want to bring me down in wadeva i intend to do or execute.. even today.. when im supposed to attend a FA meeting at 1.30.. he kept telling me not to go and just dun care and ask the other FAs what happened during the event.. i mean.. i am able to make it there on time.. and can be released on time.. but he kept insisting that i do not need 90min to get bck to sch from HQ.. and released me only at 12.45pm.. yea right i dun need that long i ended up 35min late.. haiz...
during my stay at HQ.. i heard frm my pal that he and some others asked the girl i like whether she would want 2 tix to go watch a movie with me.. im not sure whether or not what he told me is true or not... but i really intend to find out.. although the 2 of us aint stead.. but im a good friend of hers... and... sigh.. i dun really know how to express wad is going on in my head right now.. its one major complicated sum up there.. maybe i really should face the facts and juz admit that the 2 of us cannot be together and should juz be well.. friends.. i dunno.. easier said then done... which issue isnt..
really hope my mind clears up soon.. i cant concentrate with this mind filled with thoughts that are literally weighin me down.. im so messed up... sigh.. Lord.. help me..

(8:59 PM)